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Joshua James's definitions

magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
by Joshua James December 10, 2006
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O'neils

Breasts

Tatum O'Neil > Tatums > Tits
Holy fuck, her O'neils are stunning!
by Joshua James October 9, 2006
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poophole nogo

The somewhat disappointing realization that no matter how hard you push, you aren't going to penetrate your girlfriends asshole.

The problem can be solved with any number of lubricants, none of which are at hand the ONE FUCKING NIGHT that she is shit faced enough to let you slip her a length of love rod in the fudge tunnel.
No mom, everything's fine at school, really. I'm just a bit down in the dumps because Marsha and I had a bad case of poophole nogo and now I'm wondering if I should just fuck a hooker in the ass to see what it's like.
by Joshua James October 12, 2006
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typewriter

A device with a keyboard that makes slapping sounds when you try to use it to connect to the internet.
Typical usage by a teenager:

www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com

Jesus - this fucking piece of shit typewriter doesn't have wireless.
by Joshua James October 12, 2006
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fudge tunnel storm trooper

The person at the back of an anal sexual encounter. While the term is most often used as a derogatory reference to homosexual men, it can equally well be applied to lucky bastard straight guys who find women who will let them fuck them in the ass.
Why don't you go back to your constituents and keep the fuck away from my son, you fudge tunnel storm trooper
by Joshua James October 9, 2006
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arse full of roasted snow

Steve came over to help me build the deck, but he's about as useful as an arse full of roasted snow.
by Joshua James October 11, 2006
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