Jonzo the Weasel's definitions

Pretzel

A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.

It appears that agent pretzel has failed his mission.

by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006

axl rose

A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.

Despite personal problems, Axl Rose is one of the greatest rock stars ever.

by Jonzo the Weasel June 11, 2006

baseball bat

The ultimate weapon when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. It can even be thrown like a tomohawk should your intended victim appear to be outrunning you. However, if there is a red taffic light nearby, simply smash the window of the first car, kill the guy inside it, drive up after the primary target, and while passing, swing the bat full-force at his head. A decapitation guaranteed

So you wanna be a hitman for fat Alfredo, skinny Lou? Awrighty, take out Stupid Gianni and Smelly Joe wit dis baseball bat

by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006

MTV

A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."

Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.

by Jonzo the Weasel April 4, 2006

celebricrat

A celebrtity who gets political. In some extreme cases (like the guy who is now governor of california) they will run for office and win. But if one just makes public political statements and/or supports a candidate, then that celebrity has become a celebricrat.
Naturaly, most celebricrats are on the political left (celiberals) because that is the less moralistic party, the strongest party in California, as opposed to the right-wing celebrities (constarvatives). The celiberals are often denounced by right-wing pundits as traitors. The constarvatives are usually just blown off by left-wingers as rich morons.

Here are some famous celebricrats
Celiberals:
Bruce Springsteen
Sean Penn
Jon Bon Jovi
Madonna
Billie Joe Armstrong
Kanye West
Whoopi Goldberg
Christopher Reeve
Scarlett Johanson
Sean John Combs
Chuck D
Ice Cube
The late Kurt Cobain
Barbara Streisand
Joey Ramone

And the Constarvatives:
Britney Spears
Johnny Ramone
Arnold Schwarzeneger
Jessie Ventura
Jessica Simpson
Kid Rock
Ronald Reagan
Lynn Swann
Ann Coulter

by jonzo the weasel July 28, 2006

Tommy Hilfiger

A fashion designer who is very rich and apparently crazy. At Rosario Dawson's birthday party he started a fight with Axl Rose for no apparent reason

Axl could've kicked tommy hilfiger's scrawny ass

by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006

rap

The whipping boy of the music world for obnoxious posers who wish they had something intelligent to say.

Poser- Oh God! Is that rap you're listening to? That shit is the w-
Me- Listen, fuckwad- You go lose your virginity, then maybe we'll talk.

by jonzo the weasel April 20, 2006