Jonny Bastard's definitions

Craic

Fake Irish spelling of "crack" meaning fun, news, gossip, banter etc. Used by plastic paddies and those ignorant of there own language. "Crack" or "crak" originates from middle English and has been used for centuries. The first known use in Ireland is in the 1950s, using the correct spelling "crack". "Craic" first appeared in the 1990s.

What's the craic so it is

by Jonny Bastard September 1, 2019

Bobby dazzler

One of the famous shoe making Dassler brothers. Bobby moved from Germany to Lancashire where his name became synonymous with quality footwear.

Thems a reet pair of Bobby Dazzlers.

by Jonny Bastard September 1, 2019

Cocanus

The act of blowing cocaine up the bum hole. This is done because of the nerve endings located there. Popularised by Tim Burgess, singer with The Charlatans, who wrote a chapter of his autobiography on the subject.

Her nose was fucked but she was still fit enough for cocanus.

by Jonny Bastard October 2, 2019

shitnob

1. A pejorative term for a homosexual.
2. A small, flaccid, or otherwise underperforming penis.

1. Don't bend down, shitnob's behind you.
2. Get off me you useless shitnob, I'll use my fingers.

by Jonny Bastard December 19, 2019

Donkey honky

A white dude that's hung like a donkey.

John Holmes was a honky donk donkey honky.

by Jonny Bastard February 17, 2020

Buddy

A buddy is more than a friend. They are more like a partner, but in a none sexual way. If the relationship is sexual then they become a "fuck buddy".

plural: buddies.

Starsky had a buddy called Hutch.

by Jonny Bastard March 14, 2020

Paraffin

A homeless person. From the rhyming slang paraffin lamp: tramp.

I gave the old paraffin a fiver to get himself some booze.

by Jonny Bastard March 14, 2020