JohnnyApocalypse's definitions

dadoodadeeda

Verbal filler used to finish a sentence when too tired, lazy or drunk to actually assemble words into a complete thought. Ideally, used with the intention that the person you are speaking to is tuned into your train of thought enough that you are understood nonetheless.

Me after being awake 40 hours: "I gotta go dadoodadeeda."

A close friend: "Word."

by JohnnyApocalypse November 29, 2013

poisonetta

A tasty plant belonging to the family Euphorbiaceae, easily recognized by their red and green foliage and widely used in Christmas floral displays.

The plant store sold nearly 300 poisonettas the week before Christmas.

by JohnnyApocalypse December 17, 2020

Bro in the Know

Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.

If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.

by JohnnyApocalypse May 15, 2014

Dick Missile

America's latest, greatest, and most effective sucka-seeking explosive projectile since Nagasaki. (Funded willingly by you, the taxpayer.)

Chill bro. If North Korea wants to pick a fight, our dick missiles will send them back to the stone age.

by JohnnyApocalypse October 1, 2015

Facebook Constipation

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

Turd Law of Relativity

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.

Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."

by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013

Flipping Another Man's Meat

An expression made famous (and controversial) by Heineken and their openly gay spokesperson, Neil Patrick Harris, which pokes fun at the sanctity of a man's barbecue and (presumably) his heterosexuality.

According to Neil Patrick Harris, Heineken Light "makes it OK to flip another man's meat" to which the griller replies that no man can do that. (Should include syntactical variations of 'Flipping Another Man's Meat'.)

by JohnnyApocalypse October 25, 2016