JohnnyApocalypse's definitions

Chinese Restaurant Name

An obviously Americanized/Westernized pseudonym taken by ethnically East Asian restaurant workers such as Billy, Kevin, Tony, Susan, Mary, etc.

I went to Ming Kui Lau and my server's name was Tony. No, seriously! It said that on his name tag! I mean yeah, it's probably not his real name, but his Chinese Restaurant name was Tony. Good guy, Tony...

by JohnnyApocalypse July 4, 2015

Facebook Constipation

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

Socrates Troll

A master of logic and philosophical debate who has nothing better to do than undermine your worldview for their amusement, causing you to want to punch them in the face, then force-feed them hemlock.

Congrats. You just poked a giant hole in my logic. You could've been a lawyer and fought for justice, but instead you're just a Socrates Troll. Your talent is wasted on your amusement and my annoyance, so yes, I am mad, Bro.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 18, 2015

Dick Missile

America's latest, greatest, and most effective sucka-seeking explosive projectile since Nagasaki. (Funded willingly by you, the taxpayer.)

Chill bro. If North Korea wants to pick a fight, our dick missiles will send them back to the stone age.

by JohnnyApocalypse October 1, 2015

Flipping Another Man's Meat

An expression made famous (and controversial) by Heineken and their openly gay spokesperson, Neil Patrick Harris, which pokes fun at the sanctity of a man's barbecue and (presumably) his heterosexuality.

According to Neil Patrick Harris, Heineken Light "makes it OK to flip another man's meat" to which the griller replies that no man can do that. (Should include syntactical variations of 'Flipping Another Man's Meat'.)

by JohnnyApocalypse October 25, 2016

Fart, Fart, Shart

A game of chance one plays alone, or in a group. First one to shart, loses. Traditionnally, one finds themself embroiled in a game of Fart, Fart, Shart after dining on Chipotle or similar faire.

Kids play 'Duck, Duck, Goose.' Men play 'Fart, Fart, Shart'.

by JohnnyApocalypse November 9, 2016

gloomerize

to glamorize gloom

My sister went through a goth phase as a teenager; she would often gloomerize with dark clothing and makeup.

Lars von Trier's film "Melancholia" is the epitome of apocalyptic gloomerization.

by JohnnyApocalypse August 7, 2012