JohnnyApocalypse's definitions

Spaghetti Whiplash

The hilarious (yet painful) phenomena of slurping a spaghetti noodle so fast it whips your eyeball.

Did you see that? I told Luigi not to slurp his noodles but he just gave himself Spaghetti Whiplash!

by JohnnyApocalypse August 31, 2014

pornotainment

portmanteau of "pornography" and "entertainment".

It's quite easy to tell when you've ventured into a city's pornotainment district.

Much of the Internet's explosive growth (no pun intended) may likely be attributed to the pornotainment industry.

by JohnnyApocalypse March 8, 2008

waitress crush

A crush that's one-sided to the point of being creepy.

See unrequited love.

on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie has a waitress crush on the Waitress.

I had a total waitress crush on this girl from high school, until she slept with my best friend.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 5, 2012

Esplog

A Spanish-language blog. Portmanteau of "Español" and "blog"

Yo Holmes, I found a clue in an old Esplog entry. Excellent, Watson! Now translate it into something we can understand!

by JohnnyApocalypse December 2, 2011

Dick Missile

America's latest, greatest, and most effective sucka-seeking explosive projectile since Nagasaki. (Funded willingly by you, the taxpayer.)

Chill bro. If North Korea wants to pick a fight, our dick missiles will send them back to the stone age.

by JohnnyApocalypse October 1, 2015

Bro in the Know

Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.

If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.

by JohnnyApocalypse May 15, 2014

Socrates Troll

A master of logic and philosophical debate who has nothing better to do than undermine your worldview for their amusement, causing you to want to punch them in the face, then force-feed them hemlock.

Congrats. You just poked a giant hole in my logic. You could've been a lawyer and fought for justice, but instead you're just a Socrates Troll. Your talent is wasted on your amusement and my annoyance, so yes, I am mad, Bro.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 18, 2015