Definitions by JohnnyApocalypse

Facebook Constipation 

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

Facebook Constipation by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

Chinese Restaurant Name 

An obviously Americanized/Westernized pseudonym taken by ethnically East Asian restaurant workers such as Billy, Kevin, Tony, Susan, Mary, etc.

I went to Ming Kui Lau and my server's name was Tony. No, seriously! It said that on his name tag! I mean yeah, it's probably not his real name, but his Chinese Restaurant name was Tony. Good guy, Tony...

Chinese Restaurant Name by JohnnyApocalypse July 4, 2015

Spaghetti Whiplash 

The hilarious (yet painful) phenomena of slurping a spaghetti noodle so fast it whips your eyeball.

Did you see that? I told Luigi not to slurp his noodles but he just gave himself Spaghetti Whiplash!

Spaghetti Whiplash by JohnnyApocalypse August 31, 2014

Bro in the Know 

Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.

If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.

Bro in the Know by JohnnyApocalypse May 15, 2014

Bro in the Know 

Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.

If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.

Bro in the Know by JohnnyApocalypse May 15, 2014

fakestagram 

Noun: An image cropped to square with a vintage or other filter that is made without use of the Instagram application. Typically use by people who are too hip and/or poor to own a smartphone.

Verb: to create and/or share a snapshot as previously described. Could include Polaroids or doodles. Why not?

Yo man, check out all these old Fakestagrams I found in my mom's attic.

fakestagram by JohnnyApocalypse May 4, 2014

dadoodadeeda 

Verbal filler used to finish a sentence when too tired, lazy or drunk to actually assemble words into a complete thought. Ideally, used with the intention that the person you are speaking to is tuned into your train of thought enough that you are understood nonetheless.

Me after being awake 40 hours: "I gotta go dadoodadeeda."

A close friend: "Word."

dadoodadeeda by JohnnyApocalypse November 29, 2013