Definitions by Johnny Pseudonym

Nuke 

Verb.

Drive-by Vandalism, usually preformed with a semi or fully automatic paintball gun.

Timmy Smith pissed a lot of people off. So it wasn't really a suprise when his house got nuked with several thousand neon orange .68 paintballs.

Nuke by Johnny Pseudonym December 28, 2005

I'd rather convert to Satanism

Phrase used to denote extreme reluctance to do a specified task or activity.

Alphonso: Hey, wanna' go with me to Utah?

Gregor: Hells no, I'd rather convert to Satanism.

I'd rather convert to Satanism by Johnny Pseudonym October 10, 2005

Pope Benedict XVI 

Formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, successor of John Paul II. So far he hasn't done much; but that's why he as chosen. The Conclave didn't want another long papacy. (It should be noted that he entered the Hitler youth when membership was complusory. He didn't have a choice in the matter.)

Pope Benedict XVI wears a funny hat.

Pope Benedict XVI by Johnny Pseudonym August 28, 2005

Illuminati 

Group founded in 18th century Bavaria by Adam Weishaupt; they claimed to possess the true right to the illumination of Christ. They also had republican political views(that is, anti-monarchial, not part of the conservative american political party of today)Thus the Order of Illuminati quickly arose the aiur of the Jesuits and the Catholic Church for their objection to church doctrine and the right of kings. It was in 1785, the Bavarian goverment, fearing Papal retribution; banned the Illuminati from gathering and group membership dwindled until it died. Though it hasn't stopped the Conspiracy theorists; who claim that the Illuminati control world affairs by orchestrating wars and playing both sides so as to keep global events well under their thumbs. This is because most Conspiracy theorists are insane hippies who hate the federal goverment for outlawing psychedelic drugs and bestiality.

Itanimulli is Illuminati spelled backwards. It also happens to be my neighbor's name. Coincidence? Yes.

Illuminati by Johnny Pseudonym August 27, 2005

Anton Lavey 

"The Black Pope"; founder of the Church of Satan in 1960 and author of many books on the subject, he has become an icon to disillusioned teenagers who hate their parents and their comfortable surburban life style.
Claimed to be a Lion-tamer, Police Photographer, descended from gypsies, witnessed occult Nazi rituals, and been giving it hard to Marilyn Monroe. All untrue; records show he as just some guy from Illinois.

Eyewitness accounts testify that LaVey just couldn't resist fresh-baked kitten.

Anton Lavey by Johnny Pseudonym August 26, 2005

magick 

Something that; although you might be tempted to believe, just isn't real. Like free health care.

I don't care what the witch's manual says, it's all fake. Honestly? Do you TimeWarner would really print something like that?

magick by Johnny Pseudonym August 26, 2005

Protestant 

Those Christians who broke away from the corrupt Catholic Church of the 16th century so that they could form their own judgmental, jingoistic, and batshit crazy sect of Christianty.

Protestant is the P in WASP.

Protestant by Johnny Pseudonym June 25, 2005