When you see a beautiful woman and your dick gets hard, your jeans or pants also get hard around the groin area. It's another way of saying you just experienced a boner. A hard feeling in the jeans is a sure sign that you just saw something that you liked. This is caused by peeping on some big tits or catching a glimpse of a great ass. If the jeans are too tight, the boner may cause significant pain. The most comfortable way to wear a boner is either completely nude, totally naked, or with just a pair of lightweight baggy shorts on.
Steve: "Oh fuck, look at that fucking big-tittied blonde!"
Gary: "Shit man, she is one fine broad."
Steve: "Oh fuck, I just got hard jeans. I am envisioning slamming her right now."
Gary: "Her buttcheeks would be red when I was done with her."
Steve: "You want to meet up again tomorrow night and talk about fucking chicks?"
Gary: "Yes"
Hard Jeans can also be hard pants, hard shorts, etc.
Gary: "Shit man, she is one fine broad."
Steve: "Oh fuck, I just got hard jeans. I am envisioning slamming her right now."
Gary: "Her buttcheeks would be red when I was done with her."
Steve: "You want to meet up again tomorrow night and talk about fucking chicks?"
Gary: "Yes"
Hard Jeans can also be hard pants, hard shorts, etc.
by John Planet December 30, 2009
Get the hard jeans mug.The wet daydream occurs during the day when you are thinking about laying the bone to some hottie and you get a rock hard boner, and after it (the boner) goes down, you have a few drops of splooge in your underbriefs. Some guys may have a full load in their pants, depending on how hot of a situation they were daydreaming about.
Member of the media: "Mr. Jobs, what product will you be unveiling today?"
Steve Jobs: "This is the new Ipod, it can play music, movies, make coffee, and print U.S. currency. It is really great"
Another member of the media: "What price can consumers expect to pay for this amazing device?"
Steve Jobs: "I will answer that as soon as I get back from the restroom, I just had a major wet daydream."
Steve Jobs: "This is the new Ipod, it can play music, movies, make coffee, and print U.S. currency. It is really great"
Another member of the media: "What price can consumers expect to pay for this amazing device?"
Steve Jobs: "I will answer that as soon as I get back from the restroom, I just had a major wet daydream."
by John Planet January 06, 2008
Get the wet daydream mug.A bushpussy is a vagina with a ton of hair on, in, or around it. Panties or underwear can't contain the bushpussy. It overflows the boundaries of human undergarments and it is very, very disgusting. The bushpussy ranges in size from a small round puff to the size of a large dinner plate or a Pizza Hut medium meat lover's pizza. The bushpussy made it's debut somewhere around the beginning of time and resurfaced in Philadelphia in 1989. It is now very popular with the elderly community and also with a handful of young women that have no fucking idea that a giant bush is not a good thing. It takes 6 hours to trim the average 80 year old woman's bushpussy and that is if you use a weed whacker. The bushpussy is not only unattractive to the eyes, it usually smells like a dead fish with a pile of shit on it.
Rod: "Dude have you gotten on Vanessa yet?"
Paul: "Naw, dude, I was getting ready to blast that ass, but when I took her panties off and saw her bushpussy I puked on my cock and then passed out."
Paul: "Naw, dude, I was getting ready to blast that ass, but when I took her panties off and saw her bushpussy I puked on my cock and then passed out."
by John Planet September 07, 2007
Get the bushpussy mug.A dumphump occurs when you bang a chick while you're taking a dump. Shitting, wiping your ass, and then banging while sitting on the toilet is not considered a dumphump. You have to be in the process of shitting while banging for it to be considered a true dumphump. If you can time it out so that you blow a load as a huge turd is coming out, that feels great. A dumphump does not have to be performed on/over the toilet. You could fuck your girlfriend from behind and shit on your bedroom floor while doing it, and that would be considered a dumphump also. Basically, if you're shitting anywhere, while banging a chick, that is a dumphump. It's a little known fact that 32% of women have more intense orgasms when they are breathing in the smell of shit. If you haven't tried the dumphump yet, try it soon.
Todd: "Did you nail Rebecca yet you dirtbag?"
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."
by John Planet October 08, 2008
Get the Dumphump mug.The inconsistent, unpredictable quality of the shitting experience at roadside gas stations and highway rest stops.
Every person will encounter a broad spectrum in their lifetime, from the sparkling clean place that smells good, to the dark, musty smelling place with a pair of shitty underwear on the floor, a few gay sex propositions scribbled on the wall and a paper towel dispenser that hasn't been refilled since the Reagan administration.
The outdoor appearance of the building doesn't always reflect what the restroom will look like. Even if a bathroom has a good reputation, that can all change with one truck driver in a matter of seconds. It's 100% unpredictable, it's shit-or-miss.
Every person will encounter a broad spectrum in their lifetime, from the sparkling clean place that smells good, to the dark, musty smelling place with a pair of shitty underwear on the floor, a few gay sex propositions scribbled on the wall and a paper towel dispenser that hasn't been refilled since the Reagan administration.
The outdoor appearance of the building doesn't always reflect what the restroom will look like. Even if a bathroom has a good reputation, that can all change with one truck driver in a matter of seconds. It's 100% unpredictable, it's shit-or-miss.
Rod: "Okay, take this next exit, I am about to shit my pants."
Richard: "Okay Rod sure thing."
Rod: "Hurry up Richard, my stomach is really bubblin'."
Richard: "Okay Rod, what'll it be, the Shell station, or the Texaco?"
Rod: "Which one looks the cleanest?"
Richard: "The Shell station does, but you never know Rod, situations like this are shit-or-miss."
Rod: "Just hurry up asshole."
Richard: "Okay Rod sure thing."
Rod: "Hurry up Richard, my stomach is really bubblin'."
Richard: "Okay Rod, what'll it be, the Shell station, or the Texaco?"
Rod: "Which one looks the cleanest?"
Richard: "The Shell station does, but you never know Rod, situations like this are shit-or-miss."
Rod: "Just hurry up asshole."
by John Planet July 21, 2009
Get the shit-or-miss mug.A very short, often ugly man, that for some reason can pull some serious ass. It could be because the guy has legitimate game or he has a big sausage or a combination of both. Every college campus has at least one pimpsqueak. Usher, Jeremy Piven, Prince, Joe Rogan and Jermaine Dupri are all perfect examples of pimpsqueaks.
Ron: "Is that Mandy Harris kissing on that little ugly dude over there?"
Chuck: "How in the fuck? I'd kill to bounce that ass."
Ron: "Why in the fuck would that guy get her?"
Chuck: "What can you say, the guy must be a pimpsqueak."
Chuck: "How in the fuck? I'd kill to bounce that ass."
Ron: "Why in the fuck would that guy get her?"
Chuck: "What can you say, the guy must be a pimpsqueak."
by John Planet October 16, 2008
Get the pimpsqueak mug.Gigantic tits that hang down near the waistline of a woman. Also known as "longies," or "saggies," these jugs are most commonly found on older women. Waistline wonders are known to cause backpain for the woman and neck pain for guys that jerk their heads to gawk at them while saying something to themselves like "jesus, those tits are fucking huge." Dog "The Bounty Hunter" Chapman's wife has a big American set of waistline wonders.
Waitress: "Hey guys, what can I get you."
Tony:"A pitcher of cold beer and a large pizza."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll be right back." (walking away)
Donnie: (to Tony) "Hot damn brother, did you see them titties."
Tony: "I always notice big titties my friend."
Donnie: "Them were some waistline wonders."
Tony: "haha, fuckin A yes they were, let's get drunk."
Tony:"A pitcher of cold beer and a large pizza."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll be right back." (walking away)
Donnie: (to Tony) "Hot damn brother, did you see them titties."
Tony: "I always notice big titties my friend."
Donnie: "Them were some waistline wonders."
Tony: "haha, fuckin A yes they were, let's get drunk."
by John Planet June 01, 2009
Get the waistline wonders mug.