Definitions by Jocko Tam
shit locks
When someone with hairy nether-regions exhibits less than adequate hygiene, the matted hair due to excess fecal matter forms these disgusting ass dreadlocks.
shit locks by Jocko Tam April 26, 2010
thought bot
A person who miscellaneously asks for someone else's thoughts on a particular subject, usually to fill an uncomfortable silence or to hide the fact that the person knows little about the subject.
Jeff: We have a fair amount of bug fixes to address. Thoughts?
Jake: Uh yeah... you're right.
Jeff: The deadline is tomorrow. I need you to finish by then.
Sam: We can't, they added too much to the spec.
Jeff: It's really important that we do. Thoughts?
sam: Being a thought bot doesn't get this shit done, pal.
Jake: Uh yeah... you're right.
Jeff: The deadline is tomorrow. I need you to finish by then.
Sam: We can't, they added too much to the spec.
Jeff: It's really important that we do. Thoughts?
sam: Being a thought bot doesn't get this shit done, pal.
thought bot by Jocko Tam July 28, 2009
schizomanagement
An ineffective form of management involving steep and sudden changes in direction with seemingly no pattern. People who adopt this form of management often create contradictory directives.
Julie: It's 4pm, I'm off. See you tomorrow.
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
schizomanagement by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
Door Flagging
When a manager forcefully or dramatically closes the door when a subordinate enters his or her office, an action used to notify nearby employees or passers-by that the subordinate is in trouble and is about to be disciplined.
Jim: Wow! Karla slammed her door when Peter walked in.
Kelly: Yeah, she's door flagging. Peter was late again and Karla wants us all to know we're fucked if we start showing up late too.
Kelly: Yeah, she's door flagging. Peter was late again and Karla wants us all to know we're fucked if we start showing up late too.
Door Flagging by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
shrimp gulping
When managers or supervisors speak in technical meetings in an effort to sound knowledgeable by simply restating obvious facts. The phrase suggests the manager is better off sitting on the beach enjoying shrimp cocktail rather than participating in technical discussions.
Dave: Testing should be conducted internally and externally to test firewall and security behavior as well as the software changes themselves.
CTO: Yes, this testing is important.
Dave: Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is. Thanks.
Bill: (quietly) Man, that was some shrimp gulping! *dip dip* *GULP* Go back to the beach, old man!
CTO: Yes, this testing is important.
Dave: Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is. Thanks.
Bill: (quietly) Man, that was some shrimp gulping! *dip dip* *GULP* Go back to the beach, old man!
shrimp gulping by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
Berry Down Syndrome
The irrational belief by employers and supervisors that making use of a BlackBerry phone during the business day will result in a lack of productivity. Micro managers are usually afflicted by this disorder.
Susie: I'm off. I'm going to call my friend for a ride home.
Jojo: Down. Susie, down. Down. Put it down.
Susie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jojo: Down, berry down. Put it down. Down, put the berry down. Down, put it down. Down. Down.
Susie: You have Berry Down Syndrome, get help!
Jojo: Down. Susie, down. Down. Put it down.
Susie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jojo: Down, berry down. Put it down. Down, put the berry down. Down, put it down. Down. Down.
Susie: You have Berry Down Syndrome, get help!
Berry Down Syndrome by Jocko Tam July 18, 2009