11 definitions by Jocko Tam
An ineffective form of management involving steep and sudden changes in direction with seemingly no pattern. People who adopt this form of management often create contradictory directives.
Julie: It's 4pm, I'm off. See you tomorrow.
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
Doctor: Would you like me to circumcise your newborn?
New Mom: Hmm, should I?
New Dad: What? Maul his cock? Ah fuck it, go ahead...
New Mom: Hmm, should I?
New Dad: What? Maul his cock? Ah fuck it, go ahead...
by Jocko Tam December 24, 2012
YMV is a word game intended to fool unwitting participants into asking a "where" question so that the respondent can reply with an answer ending in "your momma's vagina."
Jake: Check out this wrist watch. You wouldn't believe where I found it.
Micky: It's nice, where'd you get it.
Jake: Your momma's vagina!
Micky: Crap, YMV...
Roy: I was up late last night. Know where I went?
Albert: Where dude?
Roy: Your momma's vagina!
Albert: Dude I suck at YMV!
Micky: It's nice, where'd you get it.
Jake: Your momma's vagina!
Micky: Crap, YMV...
Roy: I was up late last night. Know where I went?
Albert: Where dude?
Roy: Your momma's vagina!
Albert: Dude I suck at YMV!
by Jocko Tam February 21, 2008
When a manager forcefully or dramatically closes the door when a subordinate enters his or her office, an action used to notify nearby employees or passers-by that the subordinate is in trouble and is about to be disciplined.
Jim: Wow! Karla slammed her door when Peter walked in.
Kelly: Yeah, she's door flagging. Peter was late again and Karla wants us all to know we're fucked if we start showing up late too.
Kelly: Yeah, she's door flagging. Peter was late again and Karla wants us all to know we're fucked if we start showing up late too.
by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
The title of a fictitious book, used as an insult towards technology programmers who tend to lean towards the ColdFusion platform due to its simple to learn nature despite the fact they lack any programming skills whatsoever.
What? They hired Dan to do CF programming? He sucks! I hope he picks up his copy of ColdFusion For Douchebags!
by Jocko Tam February 21, 2008
When someone with hairy nether-regions exhibits less than adequate hygiene, the matted hair due to excess fecal matter forms these disgusting ass dreadlocks.
by Jocko Tam April 26, 2010
An acronym turned word crudely referring to the act of a male ejaculating semen onto the face of a female acquaintance. The acronym is GITF standing for "goo in the face." Pronounced (git-fuh), the word can be used as both a noun or a verb.
N: Damn, dat bitch sho' loves da gitf! Dang ol' slut!
V: Yo, we gonna hook up and I'm gonna gitf that hot piece of ass.
V: Yo, we gonna hook up and I'm gonna gitf that hot piece of ass.
by Jocko Tam November 7, 2007