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Joao Bufamarillo's definitions

boob tube

The new opiate of the people. A electronic box containing a video screen and a speaker, watched by millions of cretins too lazy to go out and get a life. Boob tube watchers get a bad case of half-closed eyes and half-open mouths.
If you watch too much boob tube, you will end up looking like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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Portagee

A fine race of people that does not whine about its minority status or beg for special privileges or entitlements. They make great sausages and wine, and work for a living. They never paint their names on other people's property and don't hang out on street corners looking to mug people. They never play BOOM BOOM music in their homes or cars.

You can tell when you enter the Portagee part of town by the neat, clean houses. California Portagees often put abalone shells in their front yards. These are much more attractive than the grafitti that some other people put in their front yards.

In their native country, some Portagees catch sardines for a living. Others are Portagee Wine Stompers.

Connecticut and California have the largest concentrations of Portagees in the USA. In California, look for Portagees in San Leandro, Port Arena, Manchester, and Fort Bragg.

Be sure to go to a Holy Ghost Parade. Everyone is welcome. Lots of Portagee men carry statues of the Holy Virgin down the street. There is always a Queen of the Holy Ghost Parade. Often, she is the girl with the biggest mustache. After the parade, the Portagees gather in a large hall to eat linguisa and Portagee Soup made of kale and pork.

Support your local Portagees. They work hard and pay taxes. They are low maintenance people who stay out of trouble and NEVER beg for government handouts. You are always safe in the Portagee part of town.
Some of your best neighbors are Portagees.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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Chick Car

A car that looks sporty, but has an automatic transmission. (Of course, no man with two legs would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.)
That Jetta sure looks cool, but it's only a chick car. Look inside, it's got an automatic tranny.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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drain the toad

To take a whiz. To take a leak. To bleed the lizard. To see a man about a horse.

Common at least since early 1950s.
Pull over here, Ma, I gotta drain my toad.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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thunder jugs

Admirably large breasts.
Excuse me, boys, here comes Thunder Jugs Sal. I just have to sit and stare for a while.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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punk

1. A follower. A person too insecure and too ignorant to form a personal opinion and become a unique person.

2. A cheap street hoodlum who is all show, no blow. He picks on small, unarmed people and hasn't the balls to rob someone larger than he is.
Punk: Hey, man, gimme your money.

Man: Get outta my face, punk! You ain't nothin' but a punk! Put that shiv away before I shove it up you rass!

Punk: Yes, sir.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 14, 2005
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Road Locomotive

A piece of Detroit iron. A huge car "driven" by a person who really didn't know how to drive, and who didn't know what a good car was.
Mike's old man always drove Detroit iron. He sure got mad when we drove circles around him in our sports cars.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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