Definitions by Jim E. Junk

Triumph 

70s and 80s Canadian Rock-Metal band consisting of 3 members: vocalist/guitarist Rik Emmett, bass guitarist/keyboardist Mike Levine and vocalist/drummer Gil Moore. Probably most well known for their songs "Lay it on the Line" and "Fight the Good Fight", The members of Triumph also conquered the art of arena rock and received the influential Performance Magazine's "Innovators of the Year" award in 1981 for the unique way they changed the arena rock landscape. Using state of the art pyrotechnics and light shows, Triumph's awesome shows became their defining feature.
After the bands formation in Toronto in 1975, the band released its first album in 1976 and several records have been released since that time. No brand new records have been made in the last couple years, but Triumph still remains strong and recently released the Triumph Anthology. Triumph can still be heard on the air waves on Classic Rock and Modern Rock stations, and their fan base remains loyal even today.

Perhaps not as famous of a Canadian Rock Trio as Rush, but Triumph's Heavy 80s Metal Sound still remains today.

Triumph by Jim E. Junk July 18, 2006

Ass fire 

A rare but frightening incident that occurs when the friction of rough anal sex causes dingleberries to ignite and catch the recievers ass on fire. Has only happened when a little too much alcohol was involved and the giver had a little too much lead in his pencil.

I used to date this one hot girl, but then she got drunk at a party with Chuck Norris and a horrible ass fire resulted.

Ass fire by Jim E. Junk May 23, 2006

Floor Buffer 

The best invention ever! Our High School had a whole fleet of floor buffers. I would hijack one and ride it around for hours and make the floor sparkly clean too! Then once a high speed chase took place and I overturned the buffer. Sadly, the buffer things were going at full speed and my scrotum never stood a chance. I really miss my 3 and a half testicles.

Always wear a seat belt when hijacking a floor buffer.

Floor Buffer by Jim E. Junk May 22, 2006

Good Luck With That 

Phrase where you don't really care what happens, you're just glad it's not you who has to do the said person's task.

DUDE 1: My Mom wants me to go on a diet where I have to eat only lemons and cabbage and drink only prune juice.
DUDE 2: Good luck with that. (Thinking: Haha! Loser!)

Good Luck With That by Jim E. Junk May 13, 2006

Weird Uncle

That creepy bastard who never got married and scares the shit out of other family members. He usually has a unibrow, 1970s style big glasses, a toupee, and is really short. Often seduces young children and makes movies of the experience in his basement. Also known as the black Sheep in some cases

When I was but a wee lad, my Weird Uncle Andre took me to a baseball game. Then he took me home and made a video of me naked with a monkey in his basement. I rather enjoyed it then, but now I'm as scared as hell of that sick bastard...well, at least I was before he got sent to prison and gangbanged.

Weird Uncle by Jim E. Junk May 12, 2006

Brick Layer 

A person who takes a monstrous dump in a public bathroom and doesn't flush. Usually there is a posse of poopers like this (a Brick Layer's union) who will build an unflushable wall of turds. This is mainly done to offend people and piss them and the janitor off.

I was going to take a shit at the Dollar General crapper, but a bunch of brick layers had been there and clogged the toilet up. I admired their pile and wished I could lay such a brick but sadly, I haven't had a solid turd in years.

Brick Layer by Jim E. Junk May 3, 2006

Do farts have lumps? 

Question asked by an unfortunate individual who has just shit themself. Basically, they sharted. Treat this with good humour, but at a fair distance upwind of the individual.

DUDE 1 : Hey, lets go cropdust that fat guy outside Wal-Mart!
DUDE 2 : Okay!
DUDE 1 : (near fat guy) (silent fart) (thinks in head : OH YEAH! SNIFF THAT ASS CLOWN!)
DUDE 2 : (near fat guy) (BLOODY RIPPER) (thinks in head : Do farts have lumps?)
FAT GUY : You sick bastard!
HOT CHICK : That man is my hero! I want to screw madly with him in the bathroom stall!

Do farts have lumps? by Jim E. Junk May 1, 2006