bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.

One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"

by Jeffrey Douglas December 04, 2006

Clumsy

Adj. Poorly co-ordinated. Bumbling ninny.

Blind People

Jack: "Pass the that plate please."
CRASH
Jack: "Oh you clumsy blind twat!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 05, 2006

Do a dad

Doing a dad is an act that is hilarious to those all around you but their laughter only drives you into the downward spiral known as doing a dad. Doing a dad shoots your emotive side into overdrive warp speed. It can start off small, but the tears keep coming until all that is left of someone doing a dad is a blithering mound of tears sniffles and soiled handkerchiefs. All it takes is a few jokes at the person's expense like prodding their man-breasts and saying "Gor blimey, they're like titties them, tubbs", then the water works come on much to the amusement of the audience.

The phrase comes from a real person, with real emotional displays, who regulary did a dad. Do a dad is now a common phrase all over the world, usually preceeded by don't.

Chris: "Waddle waddle! Ha! Bill, you walk like a penguin!"
Bill: "MMnnn. Boo hoo! <cry cry cry>"
Tom: "Oh god, don't cry about it!"
Chris: "Oh! C'mon don't do a dad."

by Jeffrey Douglas September 03, 2006

wonky bollocks

pro-noun used as insult to anybody showing poor co-ordination

Henry: "Oh adam you've dropped that frisbee again you f*****g wonky bollock bastard"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"

by Jeffrey Douglas September 13, 2006

stonewall penalty

A complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.

A defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a BAZOOKA is a stonewall penalty.

by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006