Jaunty Diggles's definitions
Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is all the rage with today’s TikTokkin’ youth, and also Ben Affleck. In order to play Jizzy Dizzy Kitty, you need:
1) A cat
2) A bed
3) A ceiling fan directly above the bed
4) The remote control for the ceiling fan
5) 12 feet of rope (a lighter gauge)
6) A step stool or 3-step ladder (optional)
7) A penis
8) A jar of Nutella
9) A cell phone with the TikTok app installed
Use the step stool or just stand on the bed and carefully tie the cat to the ceiling fan. Then, take your pants off and get in bed with the Nutella, the cell phone and the remote control to the ceiling fan. Carefully stuff your nutsack into the jar off Nutella and summon Satan or Beefassholebub or the demon of your choice. Then, turn on the ceiling fan. YES!!! Watch that kitty spin, dude! Let the cat’s cries of pleasure(?) begin to stir your pleasure in the genitals, and when erect, bear down on the clown (or whatever you call your dick). If you have trouble getting erect, though, keep twisting the Nutella jar clockwise and redouble your efforts in summoning the forces of darkness until the fires of Hell start your loins a’ burning. The goal of Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is, and this may be quite obvious by now, to ferociously ejaculate all over the cat while it swings gaily from the ceiling fan. Keep on crankin’ down with one hand, and use the other to scrapple together a TikTok video of yourself alive with pleasure. Fuck dance challenges.
1) A cat
2) A bed
3) A ceiling fan directly above the bed
4) The remote control for the ceiling fan
5) 12 feet of rope (a lighter gauge)
6) A step stool or 3-step ladder (optional)
7) A penis
8) A jar of Nutella
9) A cell phone with the TikTok app installed
Use the step stool or just stand on the bed and carefully tie the cat to the ceiling fan. Then, take your pants off and get in bed with the Nutella, the cell phone and the remote control to the ceiling fan. Carefully stuff your nutsack into the jar off Nutella and summon Satan or Beefassholebub or the demon of your choice. Then, turn on the ceiling fan. YES!!! Watch that kitty spin, dude! Let the cat’s cries of pleasure(?) begin to stir your pleasure in the genitals, and when erect, bear down on the clown (or whatever you call your dick). If you have trouble getting erect, though, keep twisting the Nutella jar clockwise and redouble your efforts in summoning the forces of darkness until the fires of Hell start your loins a’ burning. The goal of Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is, and this may be quite obvious by now, to ferociously ejaculate all over the cat while it swings gaily from the ceiling fan. Keep on crankin’ down with one hand, and use the other to scrapple together a TikTok video of yourself alive with pleasure. Fuck dance challenges.
by Jaunty Diggles December 24, 2020
Get the Jizzy Dizzy Kittymug. Chuddlepasting is the disturbing act of spackling your partner's (or pet's) fresh, hot fat shit into your own buttcrack with a garden trowel.
by Jaunty Diggles August 24, 2019
Get the chuddlepastingmug. Skittle Skootchin' is when you stuff a bunch of crayons up your ass and then draw pictures of yourself jacking off with your ass crayons, incessantly, like OCD-style.
Mom: I feel so ashamed having caught you Skittle Skootchin' again.
Son: Then please stop making me go to your lame ass church.
Son: Then please stop making me go to your lame ass church.
by Jaunty Diggles October 27, 2021
Get the Skittle Skootchin'mug. Pitchin' in the mirror is when you are so depressed and lonely that the best part of your life is the wonderously pleasurable feeling that you sometimes get when pitchin’ a loaf, so much so that you put a mirror in front of the toilet so that you can witness the look of pleasure on your face and savor these glorious moments of fecal delivery while pretending that your reflection is another person, a compassionate friend.
Bro, ever since I found out how hard it is to become a rock star and my girlfriend got abducted by The Grays, I've been pitchin' in the mirror.
by Jaunty Diggles September 7, 2019
Get the pitchin' in the mirrormug. There comes a point in the life of a superstar where he's pleasured so much deliciousness that he can no longer continue. But his ego lives on. And so to continue to flaunt his profound man-prowess while simultaneously signaling to women that he's off the fucktrain but still of esteem, value and wealth, the tour de force will surgically have his testicles removed and then have 7 lucky gold doubloons sewn up inside instead, thus turning his scrotum into a JINGLEBAG.
Man, I heard Brad Pitt scored so much tang that he just didn't care about fucking anymore and went jinglebag.
by Jaunty Diggles August 25, 2019
Get the jinglebagmug. |Verb| - To McGriddle is to order a breakfast sandwich such as McDonald's McGriddle and let it cool off while still in the wrapper. Then, after it has reached room temperate and you are feeling energetic, tuck the breakfast sandwich up under your nutsack and do 20 minutes of cardio to warm it back up and then give it to someone to else like you just bought them a free, hot sandwich. Naturally, they will be overjoyed and hastily gobble it down, while you feel a delightful sense of personal satisfaction in admiring your McGriddling handiwork.
Yeah bro, I McGriddled the shit out Dylan the other morning! That mother fucker smoked my last joint.
by Jaunty Diggles July 25, 2019
Get the McGriddlemug.