Jack Atrophy's definitions
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

When a Southern gentleman presumptuously addresses a young woman as 'Miss'.
"Pardon me, Miss. Do you know where the restroom is?"
"Pardon YOU, did you just fucking Miss-gender me!?"
"Pardon YOU, did you just fucking Miss-gender me!?"
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

The practice of not emotionally investing oneself in the grand outcome of humanity while approaching society as an amusing spectacle. This attitude was famously espoused by comedian George Carlin.
by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

A genre of stench in which the aroma of a freshly baked poo combines with the steam from a hot shower.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

1. When your penis is covered in feces after engaging in anal sex.
2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.
2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
