33 definitions by Jack Atrophy
The name of what you are consuming when you suck out clotted dick cheese that has been deposited into the bellybutton of an obese woman who has been baking in the sun for four hours.
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
A heterosexual who becomes spontaneously attracted to members of the same sex after shaking hands with a sexy gay guy.
Also, the phenomenon in which this occurs.
Also, the phenomenon in which this occurs.
"Hey, want to go camping next week?"
"Can't dude, still coming down from that contact bi I got at the gym last month."
"Can't dude, still coming down from that contact bi I got at the gym last month."
by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022
We heard your toilet farts echoing in there. Turning on the shower water didn't hide a thing. Don't believe for one moment that your little act of subturdfuge was successful.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
Listen, I saw you do it last week. I let it go. Then I saw you do it again yesterday. STOP THROWING YOUR FUCKING MCDONALD'S WRAPPERS IN MY YARD!!! You are being a litter thug.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
Insurance that pays out a sum of money to the injured party in cases where an asshole becomes too loose to retain feces after consistent anal sex.
I may have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life, but at least I got a fat check from the gape insurance company.
by Jack Atrophy August 11, 2022