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Jack Atrophy's definitions

goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.
"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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praymate

This is Andrew. He's my praymate. He goes to church with me every Sunday.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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systemic victimhood

All of the factors in a social system that that perpetuate, enable, and incentivize the adoption of identities based in victimhood.
"Why are people listing their ailments in their Twitter bios?"

"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."

"Why would they want to do that?"

"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"

"That sounds pathological."

"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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teach impediment

The disorder that afflicts public school teachers who are hopelessly incompetent at their job. Also known as pedagogical paralysis.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Hughes has a teach impediment. You will not be learning any algebra in her class this year.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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Miss-gender

When a Southern gentleman presumptuously addresses a young woman as 'Miss'.
"Pardon me, Miss. Do you know where the restroom is?"

"Pardon YOU, did you just fucking Miss-gender me!?"
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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twink stinker

The beautiful and life affirming anus of a gorgeous twink.
Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"

Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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late crime

When you are so egregiously late for an appointment or event that it is considered criminal.
Patient: Hello, I'm Jack. I'm here for my teeth cleaning appointment.

Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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