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Jack Atrophy's definitions

right side of history

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An expression used to characterize those of us who hold a certain set of beliefs and possess a certain set of values. It will be self-evident to posterity that we who now hold these beliefs and attitudes were correct, and thus on 'the right side of history'.
We who are on the 'right side of history' believe in objective reality and the capacity for science and rationality to uncover truths about the world.

We believe in free speech, open discourse, and continuous debate.

We believe that verbal and artistic offensiveness is not a crime.

We believe that it is cowardly to deplatform those who you disagree with.

We believe it is cowardly not to engage with those who you disagree with.

We believe in individualism over group identity.

We believe that you should judge an individual based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin or any other inessential attribute.

We hold color-blindness as an ideal to strive for.

We believe that men and women have differences, but this is okay and men and women should not be inhibited from doing what they wish on the grounds of sex-based prejudice.

We believe that is just fine to be gay, straight, or bi.

We believe that there is nothing wrong with being transgender. It is legitimate, despite there being a lot of junk philosophy that has attached itself to theory of gender presently. We will work out these problems together with the help of reason, science, open discourse, and debate.

We reject that there is any virtue in proclaiming a victim identity.

We believe in liberal democracy and reasonably regulated market economies.

We value liberty, fortitude, strength, and personal responsibility.
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
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es-pee-onage

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The creepy and immoral practice of glancing quickly at another dude's dick while pissing at a urinal.
How did James know that I was uncircumcised? He must be a master of es-pee-onage.
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
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pleasure lumps

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The little balls of poo that massage the shaft of your penis during anal.
Yeah bitch! Clench harder! I wanna feel those pleasure lumps...
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
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split peen soup

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When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?

Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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poo prick

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1. When your penis is covered in feces after engaging in anal sex.

2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.
Dude, have you been swallowing sunflower seed shells again? I just got poo pricked!
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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twink stinker

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The beautiful and life affirming anus of a gorgeous twink.
Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"

Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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plight of hand

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The visual artist's perennial struggle to accurately represent the human hand.
Often times, plight of hand forces artists to obscure a figure's hands behind objects placed strategically in the foreground of the composition.
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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