JaVonni Brustow's definitions

Distance learning

Distance learning is when a couple is separated and the woman takes the house and the man has an apartment while she is trying to teach him how to act.

"Honey, when will I be able to move back in?"

"This semester's distance learning course will be over in 4 months. Love ya, babe."

by JaVonni Brustow May 31, 2021

You're Muted Again

When your wife starts to treat you like a Zoom panel and tells you mid-argument when she's sick of listening to you, "You're muted again," and simply walks away.

"Darling, have you seen your AMEX bill lately?"

"Sweetie, you're muted again."

by JaVonni Brustow May 30, 2021

Snatched

A waistline so incredibly thin it can only be obtained by the most dedicated of bulimics

Her waist is like so snatched... like CPS took her kids snatched

by JaVonni Brustow April 2, 2021

Big Yikes

"Yikes" is the sound of a man's BBC being flashed but when Safaree's is shown, the response is "Big Yikes."

Have you seen Safaree's OnlyFans page? Big Yikes!"

by JaVonni Brustow April 2, 2021

Elbow bumps

a kama sutra position where both elbows come together causing an elbow bump

"Yo, didn't you go out with Kelly last night?"

"Sure did. And when it was all over, I was giving her elbow bumps across the dresser."

by JaVonni Brustow May 31, 2021

I hope this email finds you well

An example of the perils of virtual working during COVID. When you're on your death bed and your employer emails you to see if you've met your deadline yet

"I hope this email finds you well. I know you're busy dying and all, but did you have a chance to finish that presentation?"

by JaVonni Brustow May 31, 2021

Karen

Karen is a person who threatens to shoot their neighbors for playing with fireworks and then goes to the police with white woman tears when they get upset about being spoke to that way.

Karen just threatened my life and then dialed 911 when I said, "hey f*ck you, Karen." Karen is a b*tch.

by JaVonni Brustow June 26, 2020