7 definitions by J.R. J.

"Mother I'd Like (to) Fuck"
mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them. Just cuz their moms doesn't mean that they don't need a spark in their love life. If they've ever breastfed,they have really responsive nipples and a core of erectile tissue in their breasts. The ones in good shape have worked at regaining control over their vaginas (Kegel exercises).MILFs are usually real careful about birth control, they know accidents happen but they take responsible steps. They want to fuck with abandon, with no romantic complications for their under-19 family.
A MILF is any mother that is sexually desirable.
by J.R. J. December 29, 2004
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to use a blade to remove the hair on your pubic area;this has its problems, a better approach is to buy a small (battery) beard trimmer and fit the spacer that leaves the hair 1/8" long. Then you can buzz the scrotum and everything else without creating any discomfort or problems. Finally you can have sex with a condom and not feel any tugging at the wrong moment. She (or you) can shave her vulva and belly and she won't be complaining about discomfort from her panties, pads or pantyliners (then telling you she'll never shave again).
Ted's girlfriend trimmed him, then trimmed herself, leaving just a narrow landing strip. Her girlfriend Ammi is Muslim and her mother taught her to remove all of her pussy hair with a sugar solution when she was just 12; she's been bare ever since.
by J.R. J. February 29, 2004
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a wedge-shaped cusion designed to make sex positions more-attainable with less physical stress. If you want to go beyond the basic positions, this soft, luxurious, piece of sex furniture is just the ticket.
The Liberator is the only bedroom furniture you'll need for any sex position you like.
by J.R. J. March 24, 2004
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(noun): red spots (and streaks) left on your penis after you have penetration (vaginal) sex with a female who is having her period.
After several dates and several excuses Ruth finally gave in and let me mount her when she had her period. She figured it was safe, that she couldn't get pregnant then.
by J.R. J. February 27, 2004
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once you get 40 km west of Ottawa the relevancy of any public policy diminishes by a cubic factor (the exponential power of 3)
Bilingualism isn't relevant in Bumfuck, Saskatchewan
by J.R. J. March 14, 2004
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a good talking point to get laid. If you can't style hair, do a manicure or pedicure, or can't cook, helping her with her zits is the next thing she'll be grateful for. If you're lucky, they're on her face (promoting eye contact) or on the top of her breasts (promoting eye candy) or somewhere south of her bellybutton (where you get to look at her snatch)
I offered to help her with her zits. We showered together, I towelled her dry, then began to really clean her. For the large ones, I froze them individually with an icecube, then expressed them, and applied an antibiotic cream. The ones in the lower end of her bush were most exciting, I was rock hard. I left the ones on her upper back for last. We lay there, her back to my front. As I slowly worked on her, I slipped my p*nis between her lips and gently rocked until I came on her. How cud she be disgusted when I'd been picking her zits all afternoon ?
by J.R. J. January 5, 2004
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a truly LARGE lube condom that comes in packs of 12 and has a reservoir tip
J.R. J.:first condom I ever used that didn't feel too tight.And they never break.
Suzie:i get a wide-on just looking at the Green Trojan box!!!!
Nanci:oh,fuck me hard with your green trojan!!!!
by J.R. J. March 15, 2004
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