Intelligence001's definitions

ninjas cutting onions

A slang term for crying while observing something tearjerking, such as a sad film scene. This refers to both a ninja's alleged stealth abilities, and the irritation of the eyes by the fluids in an onion.

I was watching The Notebook yesterday. Damn ninjas cutting onions the whole time..

by Intelligence001 December 17, 2016

Truck-kun

A mysterious, otherworldy being of inscrutable nature. He/She/It/They will randomly manifest as a truck barreling down a highway towards a poor, unsuspecting ordinary person, often resulting in the target's demise. Rumors suggest it may actually be transporting the victims into alternate universes that resemble fantasy versions of the High Middle Ages, that the victim may begin a new, wondrous life.

Reki: Did you hear? Some poor schmuck got ran over by a truck at the intersection. They somehow didn't find his body.
Kotaro: Hmm. I reckon it was Truck-kun. He's probably learning magic and getting all the ladies now.

by Intelligence001 September 16, 2022

the force is female

A slogan by Nike, invented circa 2017-2018, to promote a then-new line of women's high-top shoes. Contrary to disturbingly popular belief, it has absolutely nothing to do with the popular "Star Wars" multimedia franchise, nor was it ever spoken by Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy in the context of Star Wars.

Sane person: Okay, what are you having a row about now?
Angry asshole: It's Kathleen Kennedy and her "the force is female" agenda!
Sane person: Oh for the love of God, that was a slogan for fucking shoes! Get over it already, it's been 7 years!
Angry asshole: NO! I HAVE to hate Kennedy or I'll literally die!
Sane person: You're hopeless.

by Intelligence001 October 5, 2023

Woke

Original/Actual definition: To be aware of the severity of major social issues, such as racial inequality and financial corruption.

Current/Misused definition: Anything a right-winger doesn't like, especially in movies or/TV shows. (Don't ask.)

Actual definition: I was never aware of the disparity between the Upper and Middle Classes. Consider me woke!

Right-wing definition: This movie has one black person in it! GO WOKE GO BROKE REEEEEEEEEE!!!

by Intelligence001 March 3, 2023

invisible sky daddy

The man in the sky that supposedly created everything. Has a zombie son born of a virgin.
Used by people to mock those who let their religion dictate their lives, and who try using said religion as an excuse to be utter dicks to everyone else.

Tell someone there's an invisible sky daddy, they'll believe you. Tell someone the paint is wet, and they'll touch it because they don't believe you.

by Intelligence001 August 28, 2019

id10t form

A joke played on new military recruits. id10t is leet for idiot.

Sargent: Private, could you go get an id10t form from Administration?
Private: Sir, yes, sir!
Sargent: *snickers*

by Intelligence001 June 20, 2016

flopsy

A type of scam in which one pretends to have been hit by a person's vehicle in order to squeeze some money out of the driver, usually in court or in the form of insurance payouts.

Guy 1: So, hahe's da plan. I pretend da car hit me, and we take da drivah ta court, and we sue him till we got all da money in his account. Sound good?
Guy 2: Ah, a flopsy. ...Ah, fuhgettaboutit. He probably gotta dash cam.

by Intelligence001 June 22, 2020