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Definitions by I got you back

Morning Jerk 

The first jerk of the day; may also be referred to as "chopping the lumber down", this is the reason god invented morning wood.
Man 1: I didn’t have my morning latte and now I’m feeling sluggish.

Man 2: I can do without a latte but I can’t do without my morning jerk, otherwise the whole day is shot.
Morning Jerk by I got you back July 19, 2009

chopping the lumber down 

The first jerk of the day. This is the reason god invented morning wood. Popularized by Alligator Dave in the song Spank My Monkey.
Man 1: I had a mean case of morning wood today.

Man 2: What did you do?

Man 1: I got started chopping the lumber down of course.

Bachelor Plate 

A Bachelor Plate actually refers to a lack of an actual plate. Most of the time the use of a bachelor plate entails eating over the sink or a trash can in order to avoid cleaning/owning an actual plate.
Man 1: Dude, your steak is ready.

Man 2: Why did you just bring me my steak on a fork? Where is the plate bro?

Man 1: I don’t own any, I use bachelor plates, so you can either eat over the trashcan or the sink, your call.

Man 2: Sink, I call the sink!

Filbilly 

A person or persons who come from the provincial/rural parts of the Philippines where the general population is very poor and as a result the masses must live off the land: these conditions produce Filipinos who are uneducated in "City ways" or "Street smarts”, not unlike the American hillbilly. They will often refer to anecdotes that are common place for them that they fully believe are the norm for the rest of the world. They are not dumb, just uneducated when it comes to the way the rest of the world operates. (You try growing up without running water!)
(These are actual things said by Filipinos I know personally)

Filbilly
EX 1 Filipina: Why are you buying dog food for that dog? In the Philippines dogs eat only leftovers.

EX 2 Filipino: Where I'm from we are taught that in order to have a healthy baby you must drink a lot of beer, this makes the babies stronger.

EX 3 Filipina: Combining shrimp and chicken in one meal will result in cancer.
Filbilly by I got you back July 17, 2009

What The Figgity Fuck 

What you say when the classic "what the fuck" wont suffice, may also be abbreviated as WTFF for texters.
Man 1: Dude did you hear my brother got my mom pregnant?

Man 2: What The Figgity Fuck?!?
Text abbreviation for "What The Figgity Fuck", a saying that might slip out when you hear something (or read a text) that devastates your mind.
(Text conversation)
Man 1: OMFG! Did you hear I got the part?

Man 2: What I didn’t know that you were a thespian.

Man 1: No, I don’t act but I will be the main character in an all black midget gang bang, I’m going to be the only white guy/non midget there. I hope they aren't packing heat.

Man 2: WTFF!
WTFF by I got you back July 13, 2009

Front Leaning Rest Position 

What the U.S. Army calls the "push up". Why in the hell cant they call it the push up like every body else in the English speaking world.
Drill Sergeant: Why are you late private?

Private : Well Drill Sergea

Drill Sergeant: (Cuts the Private off mid-sentence) I didn’t ask for any lip Private, Front Leaning Rest Position move!