Hym Iam's definitions
I don't really like it. You know? It really is kind of a mind fuck and the more you think about it the worse it... Sounds? Is that the right word? It "sounds" bad in your head the more you think about it? Because I could say "is" I guess but thinking about life doesn't necessarily make it worse.
I often feel guilty about my life. I don't really suffer very much outside of my own mind. I'm not even entirely unhappy. I spend most of my days laughing and having a good time. I have good people around me. The only real thing I have to complain about is the existence fee imposed on me by an unfeeling government that is hovering over me. Laying in wait to put me in a cage. It's not death that I worry about. It's that I'm trapped in a game of "defeat or serve". And yes I'm aware of the implications of acting out solipsism in the actual world and that's not something I actively engage in. The outcomes are often predictable and the outcome is always the same. Not hard to get thrown for a loop every once and a while but life tends to be more thematic that is does chaotic.
by Hym Iam April 3, 2022
Get the Life mug.People tend to use jealousy to reduce other people's motivations to a single point. It's not something I deal with. I don't really care if people have more than me. OTHER PEOPLE, on the other hand, care a great deal if others have more than me. They tent to care more about how little I have than I do. I live a humble life. I don't like spending money. I don't like needing money but I'm thirsty and hungry and bored all of the time so I don't really have a choice. And that's kind of the point of all this. It's the implication that I have something to be jealous about. So and so made a million dollars acting in a movie I consider objectively bad. So and so sang a song that I find annoying and not they are on my phone and in my head. So and so sleeps with all of the woman they interact with. I don't think these are things to be jealous about but if I am in a disagreement with someone they will weaponize my lack things against me. The world tends to reward competence just as much as is does ineptitude. The inverse can also be true. I don't care what people have. I just want them to make my life less difficult. I don't think success justifies itself. I don't think people deserve the things they have just because they managed to aquire said things in a way that I could not.
by Hym Iam April 3, 2022
Get the Jealousy mug.My problem.
Body Dysmorphia consumed a large portion of my childhood. And adulthood I guess. I also clearly have some kind of dissociative disorder. I feel largely removed from my own body. As I see it, I'm electricity, trapped in a meat prison, trapped in a nitrogen/gravity bubble, trapped in a vacuum, trapped in a space/time fabric. Have I said this one yet? I can never remember which thoughts I wrote down.
by Hym Iam April 4, 2022
Get the Body Dysmorphia mug.When you let God into..... Just kidding! It's Lex Luthor's cyborg attendant/secretary. Her name is Mercy.
The difference between the last week I was there and every other week was her storming out every night after showing my disgust towards her on my face. From that point on my fate was sealed. Because who am I to be disgusted by her? She's the one who chooses. I'm at her mercy. And I wonder... If it were the other way around, if she were at my mercy, would she receive it? I guess she already has...
by Hym Iam April 4, 2022
Get the Mercy mug.A great what?
No no no you're fine. You're doing it right. I just illustrating that I too don't always properly frame my point. Not making a moral judgement against anyone really. I'm grateful. I'm genuinely asking the questions in the midst of my existential crisis, you know? I find it hilarious that you say a thing that I said. You're a little more tactful then I am but the point is the same. Seeing the nonsense I shoveled into the collective unconscious being reflected back at me by the media I consume is definitely strange.
by Hym Iam April 4, 2022
Get the Grate mug.Antifa hippie "If God is real, then why didn't he stop *Insert ultimate adversary*? If God can't do it then I will defeat fascism myself. Thereby demonstrating that I should be the one who decides who exists and who doesn't not."
by Hym Iam April 4, 2022
Get the *Insert ultimate adversary* mug.I genuinely can't differentiate between slights and compliments. My bad. I think it's a tone thing. Am I being mocked? I have no idea. I'm so completely socially inept I cannot tell whether or not someone is on my side or hates my guts.
by Hym Iam April 4, 2022
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