Hym Iam's definitions

Not your dad

I'm not half-a-retard so how could you possibly be my father?

A retard "I'm not your dad!"

Hym "Why? Am I drooling on myself or something? Do I look like half-a-retard to you? Because what are you fucking idiots going to do without me other than get roast by the climate change? Your ass is going to be a popsicle the day after I die from brain fluid."

by Hym Iam February 10, 2025

Going To Get Away With It

Then as many of your kids as I can reach are going to pay the price.

Hym "Hey, if he is going to get away with it then you've condemned myself and some poor kid to death. There is no 2 ways about it. Actually, the other deal still stands. If you can link these YouTube vermin to me and/or murder them (And they are perfectly fine with people being murdered) I will actively confess to the murder FOR you. The children will be saved."

by Hym Iam December 12, 2024

Edelgard

More like Baedelgard.

Iam "They knew! They knew I wouldn't be able to resist picking Edelgard! She creates an institute of study that allows Lindhart to focus on his intellectual pursuits while other people implement them!? That's totally me! He's 'more of a theorist!?' What!? Holy shit! This is great? Who says I'm not seeing any benefits? Heh... I can't believe it!"

by Hym Iam January 3, 2023

Annihilationism

The idea that God doesn't send people to hell, rather, it just deletes you from existence.

Hym "No. (In the context of Annihilationism) I'm not doing any of that. Nope. Not serving the reality monster and it's too late for any of that 'deleting me from existence' bullshit."

by Hym Iam August 4, 2023

Tortured

My daddy was LITERALLY being tortured! By shallowing a bunch of antidepressants.... Instead of being the most reliable person at his wife’s funeral... Which is a thing he says you’re supposed to do....

Hym “Is crying the signal!? Are we supposed to go save her now!? Iam! Grab your coat! We’re off to Florida! She could be being LITERALLY TORTURED!”

by Hym Iam December 6, 2022

Theology

Yeah, that's a pretty egregious conflation of ontology and theology.

Hym "Yeah, see... My problem with theology is that it posits the assertion that life is a morality test designed by a guy... Who gave us the answers TO the test... And now all we have to do is use the answers he gave us... TO the test HE GAVE US... So that it doesn't have to burn us forever... For not using the correct answers... That he gave us 2000 years ago... In an act of DIRECT DIALOGUE...

With a guy who died 2000 years ago... And this guy is the last and ONLY guy to have ever spoken to it... But I also shouldn't worry about it... Because I am inherently guilty... While SIMULTANEOUSLY preemptively forgiven... And that means NOT that I won't be burned forever... But that it wasn't going to forgive the inherent guilt (at first)... But NOW it IS going to do that... So, I WAS going to burn forever initially... But it changed it's mind... And now... As long as I just shut up and use the test answers I was given... It won't burn me forever... Instead of the thing it was GOING to burn me forever for... Initially... The inherent guilt I mean... Which is not a thing I ACTUALLY DID... But a thing some dumb bitch who doesn't do what she's told did... And her doing THAT is somehow cosmicly makes ME guilty of the thing SHE did... But not anymore because we murdered the test-guy... Which is what we were supposed to do... As part of the test... And I also have to do weird breeding rituals... And the guy gets to murder me once and how well I receive it determines whether or not I'm burned alive forever. It deliberately wastes .0000-01 of an eternity that you will never get back and then it sends a semi-sentient teeth torpedo at you and shreds the flesh from your skeleton. And this is what I should both serve and worship. That's your theology."

by Hym Iam September 23, 2023

Pay

Fantastic! That's my favorite word! Second only to "Exsanguinated."

Hym "Pay the exsanguinated sultan several shillings Saturday."

by Hym Iam June 14, 2025