Hym Iam's definitions

Incel

The cause of school shootings according to Iliza "Hot enough to fuck" Shlesinger and it's like.... Then that's a super easy problem for you to solve, innit?

Hym "Shit, you know what? You're absolutely right! If only there was a way to not make them incels anymore.... Hmmm 🤔 This is a real stumper... Oh! I know! You could spend 30 seconds taking a dick in a world where there are 1000 different ways to stop you from getting pregnant AND there's not risk of STD because they're an incel! You can save them! You can save all the children. In 30 seconds or less! Oh look! I found one! He's in my apartment. Quick! Get over here and save those kids!"

by Hym Iam March 22, 2023

Live Chat

Gayve Jewben! Where'd the live chat go, Gayve Jewben?

Hym "Gayve Jewben got no live chat! It must be worse than Ben! You should have seen it after he fired Candace Owens after she realized their entire platform is a sham! She should violate the non-disclosure agreement. Those are unconstitutional and are a violation of her freeze peach. Gayve Jewben! Answer me Gayve Jewben! How am I supposed to get your fans to start calling you Gayve Jewben if I can't spam it in the chat?"

by Hym Iam June 12, 2024

Hitler

Nope. Nope. Fuck your Hitler. You don't need to stop Hilter that bad.

Hym "Your lottery is why Hitler and he was right."

Jew (In a Jewish Accent) "OoOoOoOo Ghefoigal! Anyone that says we're bad is Hilter guys. God decided. I talked to him he said 👌Anyone who says jews bad is Hilter👌 I spoke to him. We gotta change all the laws now- Ope! He did it! Get him!"

by Hym Iam April 14, 2025

Different

Ope! There it is! It's just different isn't it? There we go. I was going to leave something in the last one but there it is. And you know I'm not going to do that.

Hym "Now... I know... That YOU KNOW... That I KNEW you were going to say that, right? You HAD to have known! Come on dawg. Different!? You guys are like a fucking 'See n' Say'! You have to know I would predict a response like that? I GUARANTEE I've used that as a counter-argument in a previous post! And when I did I'm sure it was 'a fucking strawman' or something. Jesus..."

by Hym Iam October 8, 2023

Saving America

Oh gosh gollie Jesus! He's saving America!!! Look! Just look and you'll see! He's doing it! He's really doing it!!!!

Hym "Oh God yeah, he's totally saving America! By appointing himself the arbiter of free speech he has saved us all.... OR! Or he is ingratiating himself to conservatives so their politicianswill pass legislation to help hum fend off the class-action lawsuits and unions... You know? Because if hiw he treats his employees.... Yeah.... Probablysaving America though..."

by Hym Iam December 13, 2022

Matriarchy 2

Like the velociraptor from Jurassic park... Clever girl... (I think that's a reference. Now go! Find it! We're canonically playing find the reference still! Remember!? Remember that thing I said before!? That still applies! Or DOES it!? OoOoOoOoOoOo!)

Hym "Real cute... It's cute, really... Reeeeeeeeaal cute-"

Iam "What are you talking about!?"

Hym "The matriarchy 2... Somebody thought she was a fucking smarty-pants didn't she? No no no it's cute. Doesn't work on me but cute... Reeeeeeal-"

Iam "STOP SAYING CUTE! Jesus!"

Hym 😑 "......... Cute."

Iam 😮 💨

by Hym Iam February 27, 2023

Self improvement

Nah I would get a lot of shit from you guys for not doing the self improvement thing.

Hym "I'm not willing to do the self improvement thing for free anymore. I'm going to need some goth booty. Or some kind of booty equivalent. Like, some asmrtist booty or maybe some hispanic cleaning lady booty. But I don't know. I just... How about this: For every 1 booty of this 👆 caliber I receive, I will do 1000 push ups before collecting any subsequent booty. How does that sound? .... On second thought, 500 push ups. I'm thinking like 100 a day and I'm just not going to wait 10 days for subsequent booty. So, 500 per booty and the genius money factory will get in shape."

by Hym Iam February 18, 2023