chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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communist

A believer; specifically in a political-economic religion. Identical to fascist, fundamentalist, maoist, capitalist, banker. Believes most humans can contribute equally except those who contribute nothing, in which case they form the 'Blessed Leadership'.
Wishes to replace one form of expolitation with another to prove the point.
Believes in 'The State' but not in the 'individual'.
Doesn't believe in God but does believe in Gold (Spot the difference?> That's right!; there's 'L' in gold). Against natural law, believes opposites repel and, therefore, finds freedom confusing, worrisome & always dangerous.
Joyfully celebrates success by parading earth-cracking weapons from time-to-time and then explodes them, rendering large parts of the world uninhabitable.
Famous communist experiments in equality:
In the Soviet Union, everbody queued.
In China, everyone has the same haircut.
In Tibet, everyone is beaten regularly.
In Albania & Zimbabwe, everyone is dog-poor.
In the European Union they are preparing to queue, have the same haircut, be beaten regularly & become dog-poor.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 28, 2006
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social worker

making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.
social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'

normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'
by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006
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yorkshire man

oh dear! yorkshire (english county) provides many a salutory tale in how not to behave when away from home. men of that large county tend to be extremely boastful on account of their lack of size in other areas. borish, arrogant, self-opinionated, unforgiving. have a pathological dislike of lancastrians on account of having had their arses thrashed several hundred years ago by said county. treated sympathetically when in lancashire to seek cultural enlightenment. cannot pronounce the word 'cricket'. women of that county provide regular, if 'sameish' entertainment, to lancastrian men living close to the border.
a. I'm a yorkshire man!

b. Then you should leave!
by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006
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comprehensive education

British socialist experiment (further enhanced by successive generations of hapless politicians) that forced fee paying schools out of business, raised the school leaving age and tried to give all children between 4 and 16 a basic education in several subjects. 'Basic' is about as good as it gets for most victims forced as they are into mind-numbing boredom, despair and violence. Most schools are like open, juvenile prisons. Still, American state schools make every one of 'em look like Oxford!
teenage pregnancy? routine bullying? can't read and write without the aid of 15 years further education? teacher's all suicidal? no future? no motivation? no prospects? It has to be comprehensive education!
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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newcastle emlyn

Small town/village in West Wales UK, that somehow, against all the odds, remains human, friendly and welcoming. You'll hear Welsh spoken just about everywhere by locals and not just by pretentious, crachach-welsh-wannabe-shit-heads from Cardiff. Some great pubs with great real ale, all in easy staggering distance of each other; so not just mass produced crap served to chavs, that drives you mental (which we hope they will continue serving to chavs, of course).
Sheep & cattle auction right next to the main street; how cool is that? Most locals have abandoned fashion in favour of having a life. Cool hippie shops and cafs galore.
Newcastle Emlyn; lets hope the English don't ruin it.

diolch o galon
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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fundamentalist

Mental certainty. Fun at the start, never at the end. Someone who brings fireworks to Armageddon.
a. 'that's fundamentalist nonesense?!'

b. 'in the name of the Prince of Peace, die you doubter!'
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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