Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.

S/he's enormous, what a chafer!

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

military intelligence

a contradiction in terms. it's a no-brainer.

they went looking for weapons of mass destruction in 2001, that Colin Powell's military intelligence said were there. as a result there are 150k dead civillians, around 12k dead soldiers and 25k wounded, as a direct result of the wars forced on Iraq and Afghanistan. He need have looked no further than any American state.....like Utah or Israel.

by Hedley Clubnobber September 27, 2006

comprehensive education

British socialist experiment (further enhanced by successive generations of hapless politicians) that forced fee paying schools out of business, raised the school leaving age and tried to give all children between 4 and 16 a basic education in several subjects. 'Basic' is about as good as it gets for most victims forced as they are into mind-numbing boredom, despair and violence. Most schools are like open, juvenile prisons. Still, American state schools make every one of 'em look like Oxford!

teenage pregnancy? routine bullying? can't read and write without the aid of 15 years further education? teacher's all suicidal? no future? no motivation? no prospects? It has to be comprehensive education!

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

EU

European Union; an organised hypocrisy of rapacious corporations, aristocrats and neo-catholics shepherding the mindless flock into Orwell's 1984. Modelled on plans set in place by one A. Hitler (popular Viennese painter and bon viveur; mid 20thC) then continued by every other Euro-demagogue since. Emblem on the EU Paliament, Goddess Europa riding a 10 headed beast. Nuff said! :(

EU taking you to Armageddon with style.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

idea

Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.

a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

Oldham

Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.

Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006

politician

Trickster, highwayman, mugger, pick-pocket, sexually confused, conscience-free zone; possibly male or female, but likely to be lying about about it either way. intellectually stupid but with acute animal cunning. Knows only money thus major coporate-parties are able to slit the throats of generations yet to come without concern. In Britain politicians are not so much 'elected' as 'selected'. Often associated with child molestation, prostitution, murder, swindling, refuse, robbery, violence and fund raising bingo nights, when they put on a venere of humanity. As false as the shine on Satan's wings.

Labour, Conservative & Liberal - Britian's political Unholy Trinity.

Trustworthy politician = a contradiction in terms

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006