Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

cardiff

Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?

Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 14, 2006

social worker

making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.

social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'

normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006

desolation

a desolation: Describes most inner city areas or major British conurbations. Robbed of individuality by retailing corporations, bent politics, comprehensive education and architectural vandals over a period of decades. More atmosphere on the lunar surface, somewhat less ineteresting than watching paint dry.

a. 'This town is dead'.

b. 'It's a desolation of a place. Let's go to Cardiff before they finish that off too'.

by Hedley Clubnobber September 16, 2008

special

noun; cannabis-skunk soaked in 40% proof whiskey/vodka, etc, for a year, drunk in shot quantities with friends.

a)'That's not enough special?!'

b) 'Never mind the quantity, feel the spaceship'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

Caerphilly

Caerphilly; Lard-Central! A pleasant summer Saturday can be had watching various 'Valley-Go-Lightlies', 'Salad-Dodgers' & 'Chafers' mashing their way through burgers 'n pop, with tats in every place and a thong for every occasion. Almost as famous for a massive Norman castle, which Cromwell took a dislike to, so blew up. Local politicians refuse to repair it and it's now Wales' own leaning tower. Still, when sober, Valleys people are absoultely the best, which is a good job 'cause there's a lot of 'em size-wise. However, there's a high proportion of Chavs-on-benefits (can there be a Chav not on benefits?) so don't expect sparkling conversation!

Caerphilly High Culture:
A giant Caerphilly cheese outside the job centre.

Low Rollers:
Chavs, Chavs and more Chavs. Oh dear! When will someone rid us of these pestilent vermin?

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

go-lightly

A 'go-lighty'; noun/adj. made famous in UK.TV hidden camera show where grossly overweight people go round knocking things down inadvertently.

'Look at the size of him/her, Mate! What a go-lightly'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

merican

shortened form of 'a-merican' but may generally decribe someone who doesn't believe another world exists outside their national borders. generally stupid, ill-educated and naive. eats garbage but thinks it's food, votes republican or democrat but still says they're expressing choice. believes in God but doesn't see the implications! believes Jesus is cool but still can't see the implications!! believes in the antichrist 'without' but not 'within'. supports the zionazi state of israel without question. believes in the 'american dream' but only by being permanently asleep to the truth.

a. 'that was like talking to the wall!'

b. 'Aw, bless 'em, must be merican'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 4, 2006