Hansonpaulsey's definitions
Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.
by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009
Get the Wingmommug. Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.
"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."
by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009
Get the Devil's Swirlymug. Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;
usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper
usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper
"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.
by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009
Get the Ass Trashmug. Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.
"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."
by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009
Get the Spankymug. Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.
Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"
by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009
Get the n00dz?mug. "My dad hasn't talked to me in years and he doesn't even help out my family financially anymore. He's such a cappy."
by hansonpaulsey November 22, 2009
Get the Cappymug. Noun: A name usually assigned to someone who is old in age and close to becoming deceased somewhere in the near future.
"You see these new bills Obama is passing? I'm thinking we should've went with John McCain."
"Are you kidding? That future fossil would've been way passed gone by now."
"Are you kidding? That future fossil would've been way passed gone by now."
by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009
Get the Future Fossilmug.