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NSWF

NSWF is an acronym for

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Okay. I'll type slowly here. You're stuck for an icebreaker, so you say to a good looking woman,

"Nswf." Which is code for "NICE SHOES. WANNA FUCK?" and if she doesn't know what it means, it won't get you slapped in the face and you can move on to the next woman. If she does know what it means, you at least know that you might have a chance here.
by Handcuffmonkfish March 13, 2021
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fugment

Fugment NOUN

a fictional memory in one's personal sexual history
"I thought I had fucked her the night we'd met but it was just a fugment of my imagination."
by Handcuffmonkfish December 13, 2020
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edjumacation

edjumacation - a learning discipline employed by ugly heterosexual high school gym teachers who tutor after school sexually repressed students who are late comers to puberty and EDGE them slowly with unlubricated foot jobs over the course of a school year to their first explosive orgasm, a coming of age ceremony generally witnessed by the entire class that takes place from the foul line of the basketball court with the intention of hitting five to seven shots in a row that would be total swishes except the first one would clog the net totally until it flows over the edge of the rim, to be licked up by the night janitor.
"I don't care if I don't play football and get to go to the prom with my steroid shriveled testicles, I'm getting a good edjumacation."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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fucking Hopeless

fucking Hopeless - when you've been going out with a girl named Hope and she starts cutting you off below the waist, then your best friend tells you that she found a guy with a bigger dick, a nicer car, more money and who eats her out until she comes three or four times before he even thinks about asking for a blowjob, you realize you are fucking Hopeless.
"I called her grandmother up on her landline and she said the little slut ain't home, she's probably out fucking that good looking guy with a nice car lots of money and all those sores on his tongue, I guess you're fucking Hopeless. Too bad, I liked you. Want to come over and pump a hot load in my ass for sympathy? Bring a pack of camels and pint of gin if you do."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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Haiku haikuha ikuha

A Haiku is a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world. A second definition is that it is a poem in English written in the form of a haiku. The definition of the latter is addressed in this Urban dictionary definition of Haiku haikuha ikuha.

A Haiku haikuha ikuhai is an instantiation of a Haiku that is doomed to failure from it's very conception, in that despite its faithful attempt to rigorously follow the classic poetic form, despite scoring in the 94th percentile, which would give it an educational grade of an A, following poetry form is strictly a pass / fail commitment, and sadly might be summed up otherwise as

"it just doesn't have a KU."
"Damn, Chauncey wrote another brilliant haiku; he's so good it's disgusting, no wonder everyone hates him, and even worse, he doesn't have a fucking haiku haikuha ikuhai ."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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Love ๐Ÿ’• shove

A single thrust of a penis in a vagina during sexual intercourse. Countable noun.
"She kept talking during the movie and people in the theater were complaining so I threw her over the seat and gave her a good, long Love ๐Ÿ’• shove..."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 29, 2020
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STFU

Stfu
See through fucking underwear.
What people always talking about how big or tight their crotch musculature is should wear.
"If your dick is the size you say why aren't you a STFU model?"
by Handcuffmonkfish December 24, 2019
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