HMB's definitions
1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
by HMB February 10, 2004
Get the churn rate mug.1. (horticultural) A perennial bud found in moist valleys, amidst ferns, and which like to nestle up against redwoods.
2. (anatomical) A perineal bud found in moist valleys, amidst pubes, and which like to be jostled by redwoods. A clit.
2. (anatomical) A perineal bud found in moist valleys, amidst pubes, and which like to be jostled by redwoods. A clit.
1. and 2. "For Valentine's Day, do something special. Give her LADYWOOD."
~ failed marketing ploys of HM&B corporation.
(First heard in NBC's Will & Grace)
~ failed marketing ploys of HM&B corporation.
(First heard in NBC's Will & Grace)
by HMB February 10, 2004
Get the ladywood mug."A fayre visaged manne was in the partee,
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
by HMB March 16, 2003
Get the crafty butcher mug.The state or act of being pretentious - affecting an air of superiority or culture where none truly exists.
"The latest discovery of Jane Austen's unprinted masterpiece, 'Pointlessness and Pretentiosity', brings together the dramatic cycle with a fitting juxtaposition of anagnorisis and perepetaea, providing the quintessential climax and denouement if you will, to a genre that is already fucking full of shit to be honest."
Siskel and Ebert, "Two-Birdies-Up Film Reviews"
Siskel and Ebert, "Two-Birdies-Up Film Reviews"
by HMB March 27, 2003
Get the pretentiosity mug.1. The act, state, or condition of being hideous.
2. A word you say when you have died and gone to heaven or hell and, upon being faced with a nonplussed deity, with which you greet them.
2. A word you say when you have died and gone to heaven or hell and, upon being faced with a nonplussed deity, with which you greet them.
1. "Jane Austen's latest undiscovered offering, 'Pointlessness and Pretentiosity', reveals a new female protagonist, whose tenacity is matched only by her hideity and the length of her pubic mustache."
2. GOD: HMB, you stand accused of a lifetime granted by My grace, wasted in pursuit of atheism, masturbation, and belief in Darwinian evolutionary theory. What have you to say for yourself?
HMB: Hideity.
2. GOD: HMB, you stand accused of a lifetime granted by My grace, wasted in pursuit of atheism, masturbation, and belief in Darwinian evolutionary theory. What have you to say for yourself?
HMB: Hideity.
by HMB March 27, 2003
Get the hideity mug.1. Shorthand for "Hamburger" in Brazilian outlets of clown subsidized fast food McByproduct joints.
2. Human growth hormone, popular with East German women's swimming teams.
3. Her Majesty's Bulldog. Euphemism for an untidy vagina and pubic area on an otherwise posh female specimen.
2. Human growth hormone, popular with East German women's swimming teams.
3. Her Majesty's Bulldog. Euphemism for an untidy vagina and pubic area on an otherwise posh female specimen.
by HMB March 27, 2003
Get the HMB mug.1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by HMB April 6, 2003
Get the knock one out mug.