Goofnut's definitions

taller in a chair

When a person's fat ass is so fuckin' gigantic that they're taller sitting than standing. A person whose ass is thicker than six Tokyo phonebooks.
(a.k.a. - "taller sitting.").

Ms. Bertha is so damn gigantic that she's two inches taller in a chair than she is when she's standing; assuming the chair doesn't collapse

by Goofnut November 19, 2023

Fucknacity

A natural instinct for being a fuck, douche bag, jerk or asshole. Variations: fucknacious (adjective) and fucknaciously (adverb).

You gotta’ have a lot of fucknacity to fart in church.

by Goofnut April 12, 2021

Hurriquake

When an area simultaneouly experiences a hurricane and an earthquake (i.e., Los Angeles).

When the hurriquake hit, my house collapsed and was swept away. Another version of this would be a second Trump presidency.

by Goofnut August 20, 2023

Five-Wheeler

Five-Wheeler

Most US states imprint a small wheelchair emblem on the license plates of “handicapped” drivers. Thus, the emblem constitutes a fifth wheel for a handicapped driver’s vehicle, thereby rendering the car a five-wheeler.

Since losing a leg to diabetes, Roger drives his five-wheeler to the donut shop.

by Goofnut April 1, 2025

Fuckbus

Anything that’s crappy, stupid, untrue, wrong, ugly, stinky, broken, pointless, useless, dangerous, disastrous, disgusting, unpleasant or otherwise fucked-up.

The party was a total fuckbus.
Donald Trump is a fuckbus.
SCOTUS is a four-wheel-drive fuckbus.

by Goofnut July 3, 2022

Belgian Pox

A replacement name for “monkey pox,” because the current name for the disease has disparaging, racist connotations against Black people. Since King Leopold II, the king of Belgium, presided over decades of murderous, torturous treatment of black Africans, it would be a just turning of tables against the cocksucker and his subordinates.

Leo was diagnosed with monkey pox, but it turns out he actually had Belgian pox.

by Goofnut August 20, 2022

Unlegalize

The act of rendering outlawing something that once was legal. Examples of unlegalizing include alcohol (1920), marijuana (1930) and abortion (probably 2022).

When the Supreme Court overturns “Roe v. Wade,“ they will unlegalize abortion.

by Goofnut May 14, 2022