Goofnut's definitions

Five

Five-wheeler

Most US states imprint a small wheelchair emblem on the license plates of “handicapped” drivers. Thus, the emblem constitutes a fifth wheel for a handicapped driver’s vehicle, thereby rendering the car a five-wheeler.

Since losing a leg to diabetes, Roger drives a five-wheeler to the donut shop.

by Goofnut April 1, 2025

Nostrildamus

Something you can smell before you see or hear it (e.g., shit, fire, dirty pussy, politicians, etc.) .

James’ inner nostrildamus knew when the pie was ready.

Suzy was such a nostrildamus for finding trouble.

by Goofnut June 2, 2021

Pillow Factory

A group of self-serving people, organizations, businesses, politicians, publishers, commentators, captains of industry and the like, who pedal their fuckery to the willing masses. Shitbags. Lowlifes.

Uncle Rudy thinks that the ultra-conservative media and Donald Trump, et al, are a pillow factory.

by Goofnut February 1, 2022

Avian Judo

Flipping the bird.

Practicing avian judo will get you tossed from the game.

by Goofnut June 2, 2021

Kohoutek

A comet discovered in 1973 that was predicted to be the “comet of the century.” Songs, plays and novels were written about it and buildings were named after it. But it turned out to be a bigger flop than Mitch McConnell’s career as a high jumper.

The word is synonymous with overrated and oversold events which totally fucking fizzle.

Putin, fat and topless on a stallion, Kohoutekked Russian masculinity while simultaneously spotlighting the “size of the prick on that horse.”

by Goofnut June 27, 2022

Belgian Pox

A replacement name for “monkey pox,” because the current name for the disease has disparaging, racist connotations against Black people. Since King Leopold II, the king of Belgium, presided over decades of murderous, torturous treatment of black Africans, it would be a just turning of tables against the cocksucker and his subordinates.

Leo was diagnosed with monkey pox, but it turns out he actually had Belgian pox.

by Goofnut August 20, 2022

Unlegalize

The act of rendering outlawing something that once was legal. Examples of unlegalizing include alcohol (1920), marijuana (1930) and abortion (probably 2022).

When the Supreme Court overturns “Roe v. Wade,“ they will unlegalize abortion.

by Goofnut May 14, 2022