Goofnut's definitions

taller in a chair

When a person's fat ass is so fuckin' gigantic that they're taller sitting than standing. A person whose ass is thicker than six Tokyo phonebooks.
(a.k.a. - "taller sitting.")

Ms. Bertha is so damn gigantic that she's two inches taller in a chair than she is when she's standing;
assuming the chair doesn't collapse.

by Goofnut November 19, 2023

taller sitting

When a person's fat ass is so fuckin' gigantic that they're taller sitting than standing. A person whose ass is thicker than 5 Shanghai phonebooks.

Gertrude is so damn fat that she's two inches taller sitting in a chair than she is when she's standing,
assuming that the chair doesn't collapse.

by Goofnut November 20, 2023

Hurriquake

When an area simultaneouly experiences a hurricane and an earthquake (i.e., Los Angeles).

When the hurriquake hit, my house collapsed and was swept away. Another version of this would be a second Trump presidency.

by Goofnut August 20, 2023

Fucknacity

A natural instinct for being a fuck, douche bag, jerk or asshole. Variations: fucknacious (adjective) and fucknaciously (adverb).

You gotta’ have a lot of fucknacity to fart in church.

by Goofnut April 12, 2021

Rat

A tampon, especially a used, bloody one.

The trash can in the bathroom is full of my sister’s dried rats.

by Goofnut May 3, 2021

Kohoutek

A comet discovered in 1973 that was predicted to be the “comet of the century.” Songs, plays and novels were written about it and buildings were named after it. But it turned out to be a bigger flop than Mitch McConnell’s career as a high jumper.

The word is synonymous with overrated and oversold events which totally fucking fizzle.

Putin, fat and topless on a stallion, Kohoutekked Russian masculinity while simultaneously spotlighting the “size of the prick on that horse.”

by Goofnut June 27, 2022

Fuckbus

Anything that’s crappy, stupid, untrue, wrong, ugly, stinky, broken, pointless, useless, dangerous, disastrous, disgusting, unpleasant or otherwise fucked-up.

The party was a total fuckbus.
Donald Trump is a fuckbus.
SCOTUS is a four-wheel-drive fuckbus.

by Goofnut July 3, 2022