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Gary Vitalis's definitions

ADHD

ADHD is an impulse control disorder typcially aggravated by inconsistent parenting. Most children with severe cases of ADHD come from households where parents set little if any limits especially in regard to technology such as the Internet and video games.
Parents of children with ADHD always count to three before they unplug the computer.
by Gary Vitalis February 25, 2007
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Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico is the island so beautiful on which nobody in his right mind wants to live. This shithole is bragged about as being paradise only by those Puerto Ricans living in the mainland who know they have a way out. This is the perfect place to go if you are white and would like to part ways with your wallet. Many Puerto Ricans claim to speak Castillian Spanish and pick to pieces Anglo Spanish teachers who believe in the grammatical purtiy of Spanish. Only a small fraction of Puerto Ricans living in the U.S. proper can create a grammatical construction in Spanish. If you have actually met a Puerto Rican male who has read one novel (novella for our latino friends) you have met a true celebrity.
Echate pa ca soy cien porciento boriqueno, Puerto Rico.
by Gary Vitalis June 29, 2009
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Bama Jam

Bama Jam is the equivalent to White Trash Woodstock. This festival in southeast Alabama brings together washed up country artists, Taylor Swift, and how that hell this happened---Kid Rock. This filthy mud pit concert attraction appeals to trailer park dwellors and Wal-Mart shoppers. The female attendants have tattoos on their fat ass cankles and the males are required to have goatees.
Fuck Me, I hate Bama Jam, I have never seen so much white trash in my life since Woodstock.
by Gary Vitalis June 27, 2009
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trailer park Corvette

A trailer park Corvette is a late 1970's to early 1980's Pontiac Firebird or Chevrolet Camaro. These are the most undesirable years for these vehicles hence they make a very cheap addition even to a household with the most fincancial mismanagement, aka white trash welfare sponges. If these fine examples of American technology actually crank, they will typically run on 6 of 8 cylinders. Don't expect to find a catalytic convertor on these straight-piped beauties.
Billy Hutto just bought himself a 1982 'bird. It smokes like a crack whore at a Baptist convention and the title is questionable at best. He sure has a fine trailer park Corvette. It's a shame that his kids won't get to enjoy since DHR took them away. He seemed to think that Lucas motor oil treatment was more important than shoes for school.
by Gary Vitalis February 1, 2007
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eBayUI

eBayUI refers to the tendency of certain eBay members to drink large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with anti-depressants such as Lexapro and then go on a bidding frenzy. Very quickly mundane and useless items become the must have item of the year. After a brief black out period the individual then wonders how the hell he is going to pay for all of it.
What the hell I am going to do with 35 vacuum cleaner belts, a penis pump, and a King James Bible with Jesus' words in red? I must have been bidding whie eBayUI.
by Gary Vitalis October 10, 2008
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Alabama 401K

A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.
Mama, I'll be gettin' my own double wide 'cause my check's in the mail!--Alabama 401K in action!
by Gary Vitalis February 12, 2007
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