wank

1. Masturbation. 2. n. Rubbish. e.g. "Don't talk wank". 3. v. To masturbate. As in "My brother wanks all the time and he's got perfect eyesight".
As in "If you have a wank every day you'll go blind".
by garthy July 08, 2006
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cunt

The female genitals. Once common parlance, the term has been considered impolite since the end of the 14th Century. Not recommended for use in front of the mother-in-law. Also extremely derogotive
"You know, i always hated your mum, she was a right Cunt" As quoted from the Duke of Edinburgh to Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizebeth II in "Queenies Tales"
by garthy August 25, 2006
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Beer Angel

The unseen guiding force that watches over and keeps safe the inebriated as they stagger across all six lanes of the North Circular at chucking out time.
Loss of vision or memory, and complete bewilderment as to how you got home safely and in one piece means only one thing, that your beer angel was watching over you.
by garthy September 05, 2008
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Dutch oven

Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille' on the botty bugle.
"A Dutch Oven is the art of cooking ones partners' head beneath the bedclothes using cabbage-gas, made popular by Emperor Julius Ceaser during the hieght of Roman rule in Europe". (Adam Hart-Davies, from the popular TV series 'What the Romans did for us, 2003')
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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Pork and Beans

A term to describe a Happy Shopper, or Betty Both. One who bowls from both the Pavillion and the members' end. Half rice, Half Chips.
'Birthdays:David Bowie, formerly Pork and Beans, now just beans, singer, 56 today' ('The Times' Jan 8th, 2003)
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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horses collar

Vagina. Also sim. to imply generous proportions
"She's got a fanny like a horses collar" (as opposed to a mouse's ear).
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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art pamphlet

A jazz or scud magazine; one handed reading material.
"Hey Gordon, wheres the art pamphlets, Cherie's on the blob and i'm gonna have to knock one out before I address Parliament on climate change". "There in the shitter where you left them Tony, you fucking twat"
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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