Frank Klaune's definitions

butt breath

Common insult with obvious implications. The insult is meant not only to indicate someone who who is stupid and / or offensive, but also one who would do an act which would render their breath like someone else's butt.

Hey, butt breath! Move your car.

by Frank Klaune January 23, 2005

Lett

The second smallest category in the scientific measurement of farts. Usually involuntarily released, the lett ranks between the SBD and a squibbler.

"Frank bent over to change the tire and a lett squeaked out."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

urf

Euphemism for the vomit. "Urf" is useable as a noun or verb and is directly synonymous with "ralph". Urf is a much more useful word as it best approximates the wretched sound of a person who is delivering street pizza by inverting their tummy.

Man, Frank was so screwed up on bourbon last night he stepped outside to urf. In the morning the neighbors smelled something nasty and saw the urf in the bird bath.

by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004

first cut them off then flip them off

The phrase is used as advice for impatient drivers (usually impatient, incompetant yuppy sorts in overly expensive cars) who hesitate when a much slower car approaches the intersection (usually driven by an old fart with a handicapped sign on the mirror). If the yuppy waits, he will inevitably be trapped behind the slow old fart for a long time. Thus the advice, "first cut them off, then flip them off" intended to not only offend the other driver by cutting them off, but also to infuriate them by giving them "the bird" immediately thereafter. A totally un-called-for move which is very hilarious, it is also summed up by the phrase, "those who hesitate, wait". Either phrase perhaps best summarizes the attitude of extreme, offensive driving- skills not taught in your average Driver's Ed Class.

"Frank slowed down at the intersection, but when he saw that handicapped sign on the approaching car in the cross traffic, he gunned it without stopping. As the tires squealed around the corner, he rolled the window down and flipped off the cross traffic. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replied, "first cut them off, then flip them off". Man, Frank is an asshole!"

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

deliver street pizza

Another stupid term designating vomit, emesis, technicolor yawn, or barfing.

Damn, Frank got so fucked up the other night he had to deliver street pizza on his girlfriend's bird bath. Now the birds don't come by anymore. Frank is such an imbecile!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

click it and stick it

A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.

I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

jackin' the beanstalk

One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.

Frank will be a little bit late. He's still back at his house jackin' the beanstalk.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005