Definitions by Frank Klaune
nut rot
Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.
Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.
nut rot by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005
shit and shove it
Humourous phrase relating to an exasperating incident. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a sultry August afternoon, Winky was riding in the back seat of the limosine as it cruised down the highway. He suggested to his driver, "It's almost noon. Find a place to stop for lunch." The driver drove on, eyeing the countryside with no rest area to be found. About 11:45, Winky said, "Okay now, find a roadside stop for lunch" and the driver continued to search as he drove on. Around 12:45, Winky now exasperatedly said, "Stop at the nearest stop. We WILL have lunch." The poor driver still didn't see a roadside stop, so when they drove through a small town, Winky excoriated his driver mercilessly saying, "I told you already to find a place to stop for lunch, damnit." The hapless driver shot back, "I've been looking and looking but honest... there hasn't been any rest areas!' At this, Winky angrily ordered the driver to pull into the little city square they were approaching. There, at theat unlikely location they all had a very late lunch. They then loaded the cooler back into the limosine and proceeded out of the little Nowheres-Ville in which they had their impromptu lunch. About a mile out of the town, they finally happened upon a roadside stop. After hours of hapless travelling without respite, the poor driver announced to Winky, "Hey, there's a roadside stop." Upon seeing the sign on the side of the road, Winky shot back, "OH SHIT AND SHOVE IT!"
Frank first had a check engine light. Then he got a brake light. Then an alternator light and an oli light. When the seat belt light went on, he got out, put a brick on the gas pedal, reached through the window and dropped the lever into "Drive". As the car squealed off the cliff, he yelled after it, "SHIT AND SHOVE IT".
shit and shove it by Frank Klaune April 17, 2005
power shit
n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.
Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.
power shit by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005
quim and tonic
Humorous mismangulation of "gin and tonic". The term indicates a high degree of drunkenness followed by sex with a woman. It seems to specifically imply a man who is highly drunk performing oral sex on a woman. The tonic may, or may not be drank while performing the oral sex.
Damn, I wondered where Frank went at the party, so I walked out to the porch. He was so damn drunk out there with some chick on the porch swing. She was moaning out loud as he was getting some quim and tonic.
quim and tonic by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005
clown shit
clown shit by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005
transatlantic cable
Humorous reference to shitting in the lavatory on an airplane which is en-route across the Atlantic ocean.
About two hours after leaving JFK airport, Frank got out of his seat and shitted in the lav. He said he was going to lay some transatlantic cable.
transatlantic cable by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005
test fart
When you are in a social / public situation and have the urge to pass a considerable amount of gas. If it has been a long time since your last fart, you are unsure of:
1) The sound level (volume) of the fart
2) The smell level (stench) of the fart
... so you let out a small amount of the fart in a discreet fashion- thus you have let a test fart.
1) The sound level (volume) of the fart
2) The smell level (stench) of the fart
... so you let out a small amount of the fart in a discreet fashion- thus you have let a test fart.
Frank was in church the other day and had to fart really bad. He said he intended to let a test fart but instead of a squibbler, it turned out to be a blastus and he wound up shitting his pants in the middle of the sermon. Damn, what an idiot!
test fart by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005