Frank Klaune's definitions

finger wave

Term describing the anal prostate check portion of the annual physical examination done on older men. The "finger wave" is done by the gloved hand of the examining physician. One only hopes that while the "finger wave" is being done you don't feel both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders at the same time or you're in trouble.

Old man Klaune went to the doctor and got a finger wave.

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

fiberal

A wise and witty observation relating to how today's liberal interacts in the modern world. It is the obvious mix of "fib" (as in lie / liar and deceit) and "iberal" (as in "liberal"- i.e. ignorant, unrealistic socialist who wants big government to solve all problems at the expense of liberty). An accurate portrayal of today's left wing kooks who use revisionist history, rhetoric, character assasination and a complicit media to further their own skewed agenda which flies in the face of history, reason and common sense.

"I turned on the news tonight but couldn't stand the biased trash the fiberals were dishing up, so we played Scrabble instead."

by Frank Klaune July 9, 2004

islamic Haircut

Humorous euphemism used to explain the (how shall we say this nicely...) ritualistic non-surgical dislocation of the head from the torso. It's becoming a useful term when attempting to relate to the antics of certain deranged individuals in the mideast who are mired in 9th century mentality.

(person 1)"Did you hear about those hostages in Iraq? Can you believe they..."

(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."

(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."

by Frank Klaune July 8, 2006

bladder buster

(n) Any of the ubiquitous, huge, outrageously obnoxious soft drink containers sold in convenience stores. They get larger each year and before long, some nut will weld a crash-bar to a 55 gallon drum, walk into a Kum-n-Go and expect a 59 cent refill. The bladder buster has gotten so large that no vehicle's cup holder can hold them. When you urinate after drinking one, the fire department's hazmat team is summoned and the EPA files an incident report.

Damn, Frank filled his bladder buster at the truck stop and then we had to stop every 20 minutes of the trip so he could squirt the dirt.

by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005

prostate pudding

Euphemism for cum, jizz, spoo, goo, baby gravy, white delight, slop, spunk, or sperm.

Jane's parents were alarmed when they found Jimmy's prostate pudding on her dress.

by Frank Klaune January 20, 2005

fuckin' suck it

Phrase used in an extremely, utterly exasperating moment when no other execration will do. The phrase is best appreciated with one's temper at full steam, red in the face and at least one hand balled up in a fist, banging on something.

Chris was driving along 53rd, minding his own business when some dumbass in a pickup swerved out of the Convenience Store, blatantly cutting him off. When Chris hit the horn, the dumbass flipped him off. When they got to the intersection, Chris was red in the face and, with one hand banging on the steering wheel, he gestured "the bird" back at the dumbass while yelling, "FUCKIN' SUCK IT!"

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

chappies

An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.

"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004