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Definitions by Four Loko Frat Guy

Volvo driver 

Someone who drives a Volvo (a car brand that has always marketed themselves with safety). They are usually bad drivers and create a hazard for other drivers. Typical behaviors include driving well below the speed limit, failing to park properly, and more.

Volvo cars are poorly built, and ironically, can be very dangerous despite their safety focused marketing. Issues like brake and suspension failures often lead to crashes.
The guardrail was damaged after a Volvo driver hit it.
Volvo driver by Four Loko Frat Guy October 27, 2023

Swedish Candle 

A road flare. Derived from the fact that they look like a candle and are often used to warn other drivers of a disabled vehicle, usually a Volvo because they are so problematic. Therefore, the term Swedish Candle was invented.
My Volvo V60 broke down on the motorway so I lit some Swedish candles for safety.

Volvo Peel 

Something that is relatively new but low quality and is falling apart. Derived from recent Volvos (starting around 2012) that had low quality interior parts that would peel and fall apart, especially the soft-touch black plastic which would peel after just a couple years. This term can be used to describe anything that is in poor condition, not just a car.
Wow, this desk from ikea sure is junk, it's doing the Volvo peel already and it's just a few years old.
Volvo Peel by Four Loko Frat Guy October 18, 2023
A very expensive, unreliable and poorly built car that drives like a truck despite being car sized. Also known as “Volvo”.
Call the tow truck, my slowvo broke down again
Slowvo by Four Loko Frat Guy October 17, 2023

Mechanically Totaled 

A term used to describe a car with mechanical problems that is not worth fixing because repairs will cost more than what the car is worth.
My Volvo needs a new engine for $15k but the car is only worth $10k. I’m junking it, it’s mechanically totaled

Medical Alcohol 

Alcohol that is consumed to treat a "medical condition" such as anxiety, difficulty sleeping, shyness, or restlessness.
I couldn't fall asleep last night so I had some medical alcohol - a few shots of vodka did the trick!

Med Card 

A medical marijuana card. Often used to refer to a medical marijuana card that is obtained solely for the purpose of obtaining recreational marijuana if you are under 21 or live in a medical only state. A med card may be obtained by claiming to have anxiety, trouble sleeping, and similar conditions.
I told the doctor that I was getting anxious and he gave me a med card. Let's go smoke!
Med Card by Four Loko Frat Guy October 5, 2023