Four Loko Frat Guy's definitions

Volvo driver

Someone who drives a Volvo (a car brand that has always marketed themselves with safety). They are usually bad drivers and create a hazard for other drivers. Typical behaviors include driving well below the speed limit, failing to park properly, and more.

Volvo cars are poorly built, and ironically, can be very dangerous despite their safety focused marketing. Issues like brake and suspension failures often lead to crashes.

The guardrail was damaged after a Volvo driver hit it.

by Four Loko Frat Guy October 27, 2023

Faux Loko

An alcoholic beverage that is designed to replicate the original formula (caffeinated) Four Loko. Most recipes produce a drink that is 12% alcohol. Common ingredients include vodka, light beer, energy drinks, and fruit-flavored powdered drink mixes. Commonly served in empty 24 oz drink cans to recreate the original Loko.

I got so fucked up after drinking three cans of Faux Loko at the party last night!

by Four Loko Frat Guy October 27, 2022

Mechanically Totaled

A term used to describe a car with mechanical problems that is not worth fixing because repairs will cost more than what the car is worth.

My Volvo needs a new engine for $15k but the car is only worth $10k. I’m junking it, it’s mechanically totaled

by Four Loko Frat Guy October 10, 2023

E-whon

Short for Erewhon, the most luxurious grocery store in the world with ten locations in Southern California.

I'm craving some buffalo cauliflower, let's go to E-whon!

by Four Loko Frat Guy March 11, 2024

Affirmative Actioner

A college student that only got admitted thanks to affirmative action. These students don't care about their grades, sell drugs at parties, and act obnoxiously.

That Affirmative Actioner is so annoying and won't stop playing rap music in the library when we're trying to study.

by Four Loko Frat Guy November 10, 2022

Cocktail Bitters

A substance intended for flavoring cocktails. Despite the high alcohol concentration (ranging from 35-60% ABV), it is exempt from all alcoholic beverage regulations because it is classified as a flavoring, not a beverage. As a result, no liquor license of any kind is needed to sell it, and anyone can purchase it regardless of age.

Due to the strong flavor, it is not recommended to drink cocktail bitters straight. When mixed with soft drinks or seltzer water to create a drink with approximately 5-10% alcohol, however, bitters can be quite drinkable. Angostura is a popular brand of bitters, but there are countless options on the market.

Tim: I need a drink but I'm only 20 and my friend that buys my alcohol is out of town

Steve: Try buying some cocktail bitters! They're 45% alcohol
Tim: Good idea! I'll pick up some seltzer for mixing too.

by Four Loko Frat Guy November 8, 2022

girlfriend drawer

A drawer in your home where you put stuff for your girlfriend when she comes over. Typical items include makeup and hair care items, feminine hygiene products, and snacks.

I put a bar of chocolate in the girlfriend drawer for when she wants a midnight snack.

by Four Loko Frat Guy February 16, 2024