Definitions by Ford Leiden
Trout Farm
Usually a bar or restaurant, but any sort of establishment with "regulars" that all know each other and are afraid of strangers or new faces, that acts as a support group for the untalented and unfortunate people of the world who have been unsuccessful at their lives. This self-contained environment allows only positive feedback and therefore is intentionally oblivious to the real world and its harsh judgment. The denizens of this world are the "trout" that have been caught by the harsh realities of life and are farmed in a safe environment where no one can harm them. Karaoke bars and Independent Coffee Shops are frequently Trout Farms.
Everyone was telling me why my life was so terrible and I was so untalented, but the I went down to the Trout Farm and everyone told me how great I was and put gold stars on my crayon drawings!
Trout Farm by Ford Leiden December 26, 2009
hepstard
I went down to Williamsburg to visit my grandmother at the synagogue, but all these dumbass hepstards were in my way eating pork like a bunch of tards. No respect.
hepstard by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009
Glorified Guitar Hero Player
A person who plays music in a band or solo (most commonly Indie Rock or other hipster music) who has no or very little talent yet feels compelled to strut around or just generally act like a "Rock Star". Most commonly found in cities with "great music scenes" such as Austin or Seattle and simply revitalizes the idea of empty egotism over any substance. People who want to act like "Rock Stars" for the status symbol, but actually know very little about music itself. So therefore people with the exact same talent and delusional sense of self-importance that a person playing the video game "Guitar Hero" would feel.
I went to the show last night and it sucked, they were all just a bunch of Glorified Guitar Hero Players douche bags.
Glorified Guitar Hero Player by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009
My Fair Kitty
A younger version of a cat lady. A young woman who shows the early stages of Crazy Cat Lady tendencies. May be a Cat Lady in training whether they know it or not.
I went to Amanda's apartment and just couldn't help thinking "she's going to end up a crazy old cat lady one of these days. She just needs a crazy cat lady Henry Higgins, then she'll be My Fair Kitty"
My Fair Kitty by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009
Christmas Heat
An inexplicable sense of extreme hornyness brought on by the holiday seasons, hopefully resulting in a Christmas Fuck
I was walking down the street with all these cheerful, beautiful women in tight sweaters on the 24th and got a case of the raging Christmas Heat
Christmas Heat by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009
Ninja Tits
When a woman, be it through loose baggy clothing or some other means, does not appear to have a very impressive rack then reveals that she has fantastic tits.
So I really I liked this girl at work, not too cute but a lot of fun. But I only ever saw her in that dumb, baggy work uniform, so when we went to a bar and she worse this tight T-shirt, I was floored. She'd been holding out on the Ninja Tits!
Ninja Tits by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009