Definitions by FitofPeak2
shysterectomy
“My cousin found out the lawyer he hired for his car accident already had a handshake deal with the other driver’s insurer to settle his claim for $50k, and then suggested that they do a contingent fee that would pay him 40%. We got him an emergency shysterectomy, and the new guy charged him only $500 to document the settlement.”
shysterectomy by FitofPeak2 November 25, 2024
groinucopia
A bar, restaurant, or other place of public accommodation providing a fertile environment for negotiating spontaneous sexual liaisons. a portmanteau of groin + cornucopia, a horn of plenty
Ask any business traveler who regularly visits Chicago where you can go to find a little noncommital romance and they'll point you to Carr's Cavern, generally regarded as the Midwest's premier groinucopia.
groinucopia by FitofPeak2 June 16, 2024
Funderware
A fleece jacket or vest bearing the embroidered logo of an investment bank, venture capital firm, private equity shop or other financial companybb that provides funding -- the basic outerwear garment of finance bros and sisses. Also known as a Finance Jersey, VC Jersey, PE Jersey or Wall Street Jersey.
Oh check him out, the dude in the North Face Polartec funderware -- "Schmendrick Capital." Wall Street jersey, pathetic . . . and yet sharp.
Funderware by FitofPeak2 February 5, 2024
hunk rock
A contraction of "humorous punk rock," a musical genre comprising punk rock works intended as parodies of the actual punk oeuvre, which originated with Paloma Music's 1978 release of the vinyl 45 recording "Picked Off the Litter" by John Vomit and the Leather Scabs, a band formed by members of the Stanford Chaparral campus humor magazine, featuring the songs "Punk Rock Star" and "I Suck."
Unbelievable, I just scored a mint-condition copy of the original Hunk Rock record, "Picked Off the Litter," on eBay for only a thousand bucks!
hunk rock by FitofPeak2 January 6, 2024
Ferrous Oxide's Day Off
A tongue-in-cheek name for rust removal duty (ferrous oxide being the precursor to rust on steel objects), especially on Navy ships, playing on the vivid contrast between the tedious and highly unpleasant nature of the duty, involving the use of wire brushes and toxic chemicals often under a blazing sun, compared to the delightful, carefree leisure tableau depicted by the three teen protagonists of the 1986 Matthew Broderick film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
Chief Petty Officer: It's your lucky day, sailor -- two weeks of Ferrous Oxide's Day Off starting at eight bells.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
Ferrous Oxide's Day Off by FitofPeak2 September 28, 2023
Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR")
Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.
Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.
Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") by FitofPeak2 September 4, 2023
small problem problem
A problem, especially one encountered in large organizations, that is smaller in scale than can easily be fixed with the large-scale tools on hand, leading to great life-is-too-short frustration with one's inability to immediately solve it. For example: you need $7 more than you thought to pay for the lunch just delivered for your office meeting, which can be paid for only in cash, but to obtain petty cash you must fill out three different forms and get two managerial approvals. Or, you need to swat a fly, but all you have is a sledgehammer.
Mark: Unbelievable, I just want to put this birthday card in the outgoing office mail, but I asked Ted if it was OK, and he says I have to fill out an MC-1453 "Request for Personal-Use Policy Exception" form and get two signatures. I thought that was only for, like, taking a company car or using a conference room for some nonbusiness reason.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
small problem problem by FitofPeak2 August 30, 2023