Fearman's definitions

Pazuzu

Ancient middle eastern divinity who becomes a demon in the Exorcist franchise. Best pronounced in a low-pitched, gravelly, strangled sort of voice followed by at least three short laughs in the same tone.

I am PAZUZU, HA-HA-HA. I am a mean son of a bitch of a devil, but then I screw it all up by protecting expectant mothers.

by Fearman March 11, 2008

toolshed

Location used to consummate deals with Satan, according to lyrics some Christian wingnut alleged were back-masked in Led Zeppelin's classic song "Stairway to Heaven".

" ... down there in the toolshed where he used to make us so sad O my sweet Satan ...,"

by Fearman May 24, 2008

Ballymoreau

Hick town or boghole in the backwoods of Ireland so dangerously rustic that you'd think some mad scientist had engineered the locals from a herd of Frisians. From H.G. Wells' Island of Dr. Moreau.

We're in Ballymoreau, County Carlow. Let's get out of here.

by Fearman March 4, 2008

Silver Shamrock

Fictitious mask company in the third instalment in the Hallowe'en franchise, "Season of the Witch" (the one without Mr. Myers). The masks are the colours of the Irish national flag (orange Jack-O-Lantern, white skull, green witch), and are made by a company in a weird all-Oirish town on the coast of California. On activation by a signal on the big night, the masks transform their (numerous) wearers' heads into so many divers creepy-crawlies. The Silver Shamrock company wins the booby prize for the most irritating television jingle ever inflicted on the world in fact or fiction; a countdown to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down", starting "(x) days to Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en". I had it in my head for WEEKS. The head of the company is played by an actor from Wexford, Ireland, and incidentally as far as I can tell is the only figure in the history of American horror films to pronounce Samhain correctly.

Four days left to Hallowe'en,
Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en,
Four more days to Hallowe'en,
Silver Shamrock!

by Fearman February 10, 2008

Frankenphobia

Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.

Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.

When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?

by Fearman January 6, 2008

Satan

A man of wealth and taste. (After the Rolling Stones.) His role is much maligned. He actually keeps his minions from sticking in the pitchforks that much harder.

Satan:
Allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.

by Fearman October 8, 2007

as you do

Expression used ironically in a mocking tone to suggest that something idiotic someone has done is exactly what any ordinary intelligent person would have done in that situation ... NOT.

After one pedal flew off his pushbike and into the drains near Marie's, he tied one foot to the remaining pedal with twine for the return journey and pedalled extra hard, as you do.

Dizzy Dolly tried to cover up the catshit on the toilet floor by laying down the handle of the toilet brush across it, as you do.

by Fearman October 8, 2007