Fearman's definitions

Uranus

1. Third largest planet in the solar system by diameter and least massive of the gas giants. Discovered by Sir William Herschel in 1781. A naked eye object in good conditions if you know where and what to look for. Higher proportions of water ice, methane and ammonia in the atmospheres of Uranus and Neptune have led astronomers to class these worlds in a separate category known as the ice giants. Knocked on its side by an early impact to its current 98-degree axial tilt, Uranus rolls almost like a ball along its orbit, with first one hemisphere and then the other experiencing daylight. Uranus is known for a system of dark rings of carbonaceous material. Orbits the sun at 1.787 billion miles mean distance, or approaching twenty times Earth's distance, from the Sun. Wins the booby prize for the least photogenic planet in the system, appearing a more or less featureless cyan globe, though this may change at the equinoxes every 42 Earth years. Visited by Voyager 2 in 1986. At last count, 27 moons.

2. Romanised form of the Greek god's name Ouranos, god of the heavens.

3. No scatological jokes, please.

If you know what part of the night sky to look at, you can see the planet Uranus if you squint.

Uranus, god of the heavens.

by Fearman May 12, 2008

Cracker

Not to be confused with the lower-case-initialled word, Cracker is a kick-ass police drama series from the UK starring Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid in the Potter movies) as a criminal psychologist in the employ of Her Majesty's Police. He is Scottish (of course) and grimly determined to have show-down after show-down with his wife over his additions to gambling, cigarettes and alcohol. Has a bit on the side with Sergeant Jane Penhaligon (whom he refers to as "Panhandle"), played by Geraldine Somerville (Lily Potter in the movies). He is deeply pessimistic and cynical and possessed of an ineluctable Celtic perception (sans tinsel and cliched stuff; think of the real Scotland) of the fundamental bleakness of the human condition. Sarcastic as hell. Unforgettable.
Oh, yes, the criminal cases are kind of interesting, too.

Did you catch Cracker on the tube the other night? Did you see the bit where Coltrane's smarmy colleague jumps off the roof?

by Fearman July 16, 2007

heart

An organ with two functions: firstly, pumping blood around the body: secondly, getting its owner in trouble.

Follow your heart, but wear a helmet.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

dobby

Verb: to interfere with other peoples' property or plans without their knowledge or consent, then pretend that one is not responsible for the same, leaving them with no apparent alternative but to ascribe the latest turn of events to persons or forces unknown. From the name of the house elf first appearing in the second Harry Potter novel.

Jim's mother-in-law has dobbied his drinking glasses again.

I think Mary decided to dobby Neil's car keys.

Ben has dobbied the vases again. They'll probably turn up in the rubbish compactor.

by Fearman March 25, 2008

St. James of LA

James Douglas Morrison (1943-71), poet, shaman, lead singer for dark psychedelic and blues group The Doors, and someone who really knew what material to use for trousers. Had talent and a half. Knew the writings of Huxley, Nietzsche, Artaud and William Blake. Had a rocking good life. If he hadn't swallowed so much of his own bullshit, not to mention such vast quantities of alcohol and at least one particular dose of opiate, he might have had a lot more of it. Buried at a modest site in Pere Lachaise, Paris. Since then his grave has become a Mecca for saprophytic potheads who have spread graffiti far and wide, desecrated his memory and pissed off the surviving relatives of those buried round about.

Terry went on a trip to Paris last year to check out the burial site of St. James of LA.

by Fearman April 13, 2008

Frank

The anthropomorphic rabbit in Richard Kelly's first directed feature film, Donnie Darko. Frank is played in the movie by James Duval. Think three parts Harvey to two parts Darth Vader. Frank knows so many things, including when the world will end.

Some Frank quotes:

"Twenty-eight days, six hours, forty-two minutes and twelve seconds. That is when the world will end." (Note; the numbers add up to eighty-eight. The movie is set in the year 1988. Also the movie was filmed over twenty-eight days. Make of it what you like.)

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"

by Fearman February 23, 2008

ophthalmophobia

Fear of going to see an eye specialist.

He's got a bad case of ophthalmophobia. He's not going to have his eyes checked. He'd rather have cataracts.

by Fearman August 4, 2007