Fearman's definitions

Frankenphobia

Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.

Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.

When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?

by Fearman January 6, 2008

Ballymoreau

Hick town or boghole in the backwoods of Ireland so dangerously rustic that you'd think some mad scientist had engineered the locals from a herd of Frisians. From H.G. Wells' Island of Dr. Moreau.

We're in Ballymoreau, County Carlow. Let's get out of here.

by Fearman March 4, 2008

toolshed

Location used to consummate deals with Satan, according to lyrics some Christian wingnut alleged were back-masked in Led Zeppelin's classic song "Stairway to Heaven".

" ... down there in the toolshed where he used to make us so sad O my sweet Satan ...,"

by Fearman May 24, 2008

Pazuzu

Ancient middle eastern divinity who becomes a demon in the Exorcist franchise. Best pronounced in a low-pitched, gravelly, strangled sort of voice followed by at least three short laughs in the same tone.

I am PAZUZU, HA-HA-HA. I am a mean son of a bitch of a devil, but then I screw it all up by protecting expectant mothers.

by Fearman March 11, 2008

Pope Gambit

An attempt to make oneself appear squeaky clean, carried to such extremes of austerity or public self-righteousness that this person has just gotta be hiding something.

Jerry's pretending he doesn't feel attracted to Ralph, and going about talking about cleanliness of mind and body as he attends meetings of this group of homophobic God-botherers. He's obviously playing the Pope Gambit.

by Fearman February 22, 2008

fungus farm

Accommodation typically offered by cowboy landlords and especially to students, shot through with a fungal growth. The fungal infestation is often temporarily retarded at point of sale by gas or electric heaters which the landlord has removed shortly thereafter. Even if the hyphae have ramified all the way into or up from the foundations, in popular mythology it is always the tenant's fault.

Shane and myself got a cheap ground floor apartment ostensibly for a year on coming to Cork, but it turned out to be a fungus farm and we had to move out after a month for the good of our health.

by Fearman January 7, 2008

landlord's holiday

A break, usually involving travel abroad and of indefinite duration, so as to avoid tenant responsibilities, legal action, and so on. A time of leave for analogous purposes or of similar duration.

After taking ten million quid in cash from the public in begging letters, Karl O'Driscoll vanished on a landlord's holiday to his hidey hole in the Seychelles and lived a life of leisure.

by Fearman August 10, 2007