Fearman's definitions
I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)
by Fearman April 16, 2008
Get the Tom Cruisemug. The joke towards the end of the opening credits to The Simpsons. Each week (or most weeks) something different happens when the family rush into the living room to watch the TV.
Various examples of the Couch Gag: the couch turns into a monster that swallows the family once they sit on it ... the end wall with the couch retreats down an increasingly long tunnel and they keep chasing after it ... Santa's Little Helper (their dog) is already sitting on the couch and snarls, hair bristling, as they close in ... the family crash into each other and break into little pieces on the floor with a noise like shattering porcelain.
by Fearman August 14, 2007
Get the couch gagmug. To die. Derived from "hand over your firearms", and the quote from the late Charlton Heston, "you can have my gun when you prise it from my cold dead hands".
First you marry, then you have 2.7 kids, then you eat quiche, then you Heston over your firearms.
Both my grandfathers had Hestoned over their firearms before I was born.
Both my grandfathers had Hestoned over their firearms before I was born.
by Fearman April 13, 2008
Get the Heston over your firearmsmug. Grouping of authors regarded as dark and depraved and explicitly or implicitly worthy of a painful execution because they refused to write books as clean and wholesome as the Bible or Koran. Well, that's what the True Believers would have us think, anyway. At last count included Salman Rushdie, Jo Rowling and Philip Pullman. May be abbreviated to ALE, or AxLE.
Like any true servant of democracy, I find time to support the Axis of Literary Evil whenever I can.
by Fearman January 25, 2008
Get the Axis of Literary Evilmug. (As of 2007) current occupant of the Throne of Peter. Talks a fair amount about gays in rather shrill tones. Likes to hide behind other powerful men before coming into the limelight, as he did as the author of many of Karol Wojtyla's bulls. Really has a fabulous wardrobe. Last seen slinking around St. Peter's in a pair of ruby slippers, just like Judy. Has a birth name meaning rat-catcher, good job he got his current post so he can shed that skin and emerge from his chryalis transformed into a beautiful butterfly. Most beloved closet queen on the planet. After all, he may come from the backwoods of Deutschland, but deep down he knows, there's no place like Rome, there's no place like Rome (click click) there's no place like Rome.
by Fearman August 21, 2007
Get the Benedict XVImug. by Fearman August 19, 2007
Get the shit cubedmug. 1. Ready to accept on firm evidence that one's most cherished beliefs may be hogwash, but bearing in mind that extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence.
2. Politically correct synonym for "gullible" used by New Age quacks who want to sell you a bill of goods.
2. Politically correct synonym for "gullible" used by New Age quacks who want to sell you a bill of goods.
I am open-minded about the existence of the Judeo-Christian God. If he appears in the immortal flesh in the heavens to me and a few billion other people and manifests his power openly in such a manner that it cannot possibly be a dream, illusion, hallucination or anything of the sort, I'll accept he is there. In the meantime, it is more befitting the heritage of the human intellect to ignore such figures as mythical.
Open-mindedness is a virtue, but when dealing with New Age salespeople it is important to remember that if you keep your mind too open, your brain may fall out.
Open-mindedness is a virtue, but when dealing with New Age salespeople it is important to remember that if you keep your mind too open, your brain may fall out.
by Fearman March 29, 2008
Get the open-mindedmug.