Fearman's definitions

whaling

Industry practised by Japan, Norway, Iceland and Russia, which affords Greenpeace a badly needed opportunity to do something useful.

The Japanese have resumed whaling again. Whether Greenpeace will get off their anti-GM backsides and hop in the dinghies again is another matter.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

make me one with everything

What the mystic said to the pizza chef.

"Make me one with everything", the mystic said to the pizza chef. Need I say more?

by Fearman April 11, 2008

bicycle

Machine with two wheels, two pedals and a light built for a Christmas tree, used for turning calories into scar tissue.

Here's a bicycle with three gears: pedals-clanking, chain-free, chain-snarled-up.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

jenga

Game played using wooden blocks three times as long as they are wide. The blocks are stacked in a square tower with three side by side in each floor, aligned at right angles to those above and below. The players take it in turns to remove one block per turn from the tower. The loser is the one who makes the tower topple.

I love playing jenga. Especially the satisfying crash when it all comes down.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

Mr. Natural

Long-bearded earthy worldly wise simple genius invented by cartoonist R. Crumb. The only man in history (according to one cartoon) to get a new lease on life when, once he had died, God asked him what he thought of Paradise and his scrupulously honest aesthetic appraisal of the whole place pissed off the Big Man big time. Best known for such catch phrases as "Keep Truckin'".

Mr. Natural, the coolest beardy dude in history, even makes sandals look good.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

do a Begbie

To toss/drop a beer glass over the side of a balcony on pub customers below, esp. if this results in injuries downstairs. May be accidental, but strictly speaking is intended to provide a pretext for the dropper to come downstairs, claim to be upset, and escalate the punch-up. From the stunt pulled by Francis Begbie in the 1996 classic movie, Trainspotting. At its classiest when the glass is thrown nonchalantly over the shoulder, like a pinch of salt.

That fellah over there with the scars down one side of his face is leaning over the rail with his Erdinger glass in one hand and has a look of sick anticipation in his eyes. I suspect he may be about to do a Begbie on the broad with the big boobs and the red T-shirt.

by Fearman April 10, 2008

Sandal Squad

Initials SS, also known as the Deep Green Mob. Given to talking about Nature in a way that is second cousin to God Squad style. Can't hear the word biotech without steam jetting out their ears, firmly believe that "chemical" is supposed to be an unqualified snarl word, and understand the difference between energy and radiation like nobody else. They would like to open your mind. Some of them would like to use a pick-axe.

When the local Sandal Squad heard that Jimmy Brogan was growing seedless grapes in his greenhouse, they turned up with a bulldozer and mangled the place.

by Fearman April 10, 2008