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Fearman's definitions

kitty porn

Yes ...... but kitty porn is soooo cuuuuute ......,
by Fearman February 1, 2008
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Dreadful Venereal Disease

Facetious extension of DVD (actually Digital Versatile Disk).
Nothing interesting on the telly tonight, Benny. Stick on a Dreadful Venereal Disease and let's watch it.
by Fearman January 6, 2008
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bump

The expanding belly of a pregnant woman. Some women think it looks like the side of a bus, we do collectively need to watch that population curve, and some psychotic bible-jerkers who call themselves pro-life give the whole thing a tang of sulphur for everyone else, but despite it all, that bump remains one of the most drop-dead gorgeous sexy things in the world.
No, I'm not a creep. Can I PLLLEEEEEASE kiss your bump?
by Fearman December 26, 2007
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etiquette freak

Someone so obsessed with the minutiae of lower-middle-class good manners that they utterly miss the point of the exercise. The name of the game for these people is not showing consideration for others at all, but merely showing off their own upward mobility in the most vulgar way possible. There are few people more annoying than etiquette freaks, who themselves typically flout the most elementary standards of civilised behaviour every chance they get. A typical etiquette freak would be the character of Hyacinth Bouquet in "Keeping Up Appearances".

There is of course an entire industry of books and other sources supplying the requirements of etiquette freaks, often including such nuggets of folk wisdom as the following, in a book by Angela Lansbury (presumably not the actress): "A lady only has her name in the paper on three occasions in her life: when she is born, when she marries and when she dies."
An etiquette freak will always endeavour to have as many different varieties of knives, forks and spoons for their guests as possible at a dinner party. Preferably all laid out at the same time.
by Fearman August 7, 2007
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Christihomoality

The opposite of Christideuteronoleviticality, which is the corruption of the message of the pale (Jewish) Galilean by the 1500-year-older blatherings of a group of psychotic priests who should have done posterity a great big favour and gone out and gotten shagged a whole lot more often.
Long live Christihomoality. Adam and Steve would have STAYED in the GODDAMNED GARDEN.
by Fearman January 5, 2008
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Sean Connery

The only actor so far to show there is life after 007. One of the truly great sons of Scotland.
The name's Connery. Sean Connery. I was the first Bond. Whenever anyone wants to do a Bond voice, they impersonate me. Since then I've voiced Draco in Dragonheart and played Marko Ramius in Red October. I was in The Untouchables, Zardoz, Outland, and indeed countlessblockbusters, many of them quite good. I've also been an influential voice in the Scottish secession movement. Beat that, Roger!
by Fearman August 4, 2007
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face-hugger

Really creepy sexual partner who wants to bear/sire a child at the first opportunity, tries cleaving to someone who is not interested, and if a kid is conceived and born promptly loses interest in it. In short, a bit of a psycho. After the critter in the Alien movies.
I don't know what Alice ever say in Mark. Now she's trying to offload little Gary onto him. She must be a face-hugger.
by Fearman June 15, 2007
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