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Fearman's definitions

glacicurriculaphobia

Morbid fear of that last crucial copy of your CV/resume being ruined by a splatter of melting ice cream.
Serious case of glacicurriculaphobia here; keep the CV safe.
by Fearman November 22, 2007
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water nibbler

A total health freak. Someone who is cautious about consuming even distilled water.
Don't listen to those water nibblers worrying about calories, just eat sensibly and get some exercise.
by Fearman August 11, 2007
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Christihomoality

The opposite of Christideuteronoleviticality, which is the corruption of the message of the pale (Jewish) Galilean by the 1500-year-older blatherings of a group of psychotic priests who should have done posterity a great big favour and gone out and gotten shagged a whole lot more often.
Long live Christihomoality. Adam and Steve would have STAYED in the GODDAMNED GARDEN.
by Fearman January 5, 2008
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bump

The expanding belly of a pregnant woman. Some women think it looks like the side of a bus, we do collectively need to watch that population curve, and some psychotic bible-jerkers who call themselves pro-life give the whole thing a tang of sulphur for everyone else, but despite it all, that bump remains one of the most drop-dead gorgeous sexy things in the world.
No, I'm not a creep. Can I PLLLEEEEEASE kiss your bump?
by Fearman December 26, 2007
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etiquette freak

Someone so obsessed with the minutiae of lower-middle-class good manners that they utterly miss the point of the exercise. The name of the game for these people is not showing consideration for others at all, but merely showing off their own upward mobility in the most vulgar way possible. There are few people more annoying than etiquette freaks, who themselves typically flout the most elementary standards of civilised behaviour every chance they get. A typical etiquette freak would be the character of Hyacinth Bouquet in "Keeping Up Appearances".

There is of course an entire industry of books and other sources supplying the requirements of etiquette freaks, often including such nuggets of folk wisdom as the following, in a book by Angela Lansbury (presumably not the actress): "A lady only has her name in the paper on three occasions in her life: when she is born, when she marries and when she dies."
An etiquette freak will always endeavour to have as many different varieties of knives, forks and spoons for their guests as possible at a dinner party. Preferably all laid out at the same time.
by Fearman August 7, 2007
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Cholmondelling

Pronounced "chum-ling". Inventing detailed rules of etiquette out of whole cloth in an attempt to help people put on airs, or to put them on oneself. From a 1980s magazine advert purporting to show how best to consume certain fashionable wafery mints. A sad waste of what often could have been a brilliant imagination. May be intended satirically, although never of course taken that way by devoted etiquette freaks.
She's busy cholmondelling for her next book, a wedding guide.
by Fearman March 4, 2008
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chocolate

Chocolate is one of the fifteen main reasons to be reincarnated. The others are unimportant.
Come back for the chocolate. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...,
by Fearman February 25, 2008
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