mondegreen

A misheard song lyric or occasionally other utterance. The funnier the better. Originated when the seventeenth century ballad "The Bonnie Earl of Moray" was misheard; "they have slain the Earl of Moray/ and laid him on the green", became "They have slain the Earl of Moray/ And Lady Mondegreen".

Examples of mondegreens:

The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind. (After Bob Dylan).

They've all come to look for a miracle. (from "America", by Paul Simon.)

Jumbled shack flash is a gas, gas, gas. (Rolling Stones.)

Lock the cash box, lock the cash box. (The Clash, "Rock the Casbah".)

Olive, the other reindeer. ("Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer".)

There's a bathroom on the right. (Originally "there's a bad moon on the rise", from "Bad Moon Rising" by Credence Clearwater Revival.)

The girl with colitis goes by. (The Beatles.)

Jose, can you see? ("The Star-Spangled Banner".)

Blessed art thou, a monk swimming. (Catholic prayer "Hail Mary".)

by Fearman November 19, 2007

albuproboscideaphobia

Morbid or irrational fear of receiving a gift that is more trouble than it is worth.

She doesn't even send Christmas cards any more. She's that terrified of what she might get back. Bad touch of albuproboscideaphobia.

by Fearman March 06, 2008

grow balls

Command to someone (not necessarily male) to show a bit of backbone.

Nicole's re-landscaped the lawn with forty different awkward pieces of sculpture and you're worried because she's threatening you with all kinds of bullshit if you don't mow it for her. For heaven's sake, Jimmy, grow balls!

by Fearman December 16, 2007

Marylin Monroe

Talented actress, 1936-62. Friends with the Kennedys of Camelot, USA. Commemorated in a song by Enya on the album Watermark. Murdered by a gibbous fanatic on his way to an eldritch rendezvous because she knew far too much about the Great Chthulhu.

Marylin Monroe. She sang Happy Birthday against the coming of the cosmic night.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

love

Love? Considerably over-rated. Biochemically indistinguishable from the effects of consuming large quantities of chocolate.

- Al Pacino, The Devil's Advocate

Love? Considerably over-rated. Biochemically indistinguishable from the effects of consuming large quantities of chocolate.

- Al Pacino, The Devil's Advocate

by Fearman February 14, 2008

gooboil

Utterly revolting cooked meal. Typically consists of various objects floating in a bath of reeking, bubbling goo. Hence the name.

I'm not going to one of Maisie's gooboils again. The last time I did I yarked all over the driveway.

by Fearman September 30, 2007

Dead Pixel

A pixel on an LCD screen that stays a single bright colour irrespective of the surrounding background. Can be at least partly toned out by stroking the relevant area of the screen.

There were a couple of dead pixels on my screen last night.

by Fearman November 25, 2007