Definitions by Faster Redhead

Fellatious

A combination of fellatio and humorous. When you can’t stop laughing while you give a blow job.

If you watch stand up on while you fool around, you may end up with a fellatious partner.

Fellatious by Faster Redhead November 19, 2023

Auto immune 

Someone who tragically does not understand the appeal of sexy, fast cars.

I love the new BMW convertible but my husband is Auto Immune and drives a boring SUV.

Auto immune by Faster Redhead December 15, 2021

Bastafarian

Someone who supports the legal accomplishments of attorney Michael Avenatti in his quest to prove Trump’s corruption. Avenatti’s mantra is “basta,” which is Italian for enough, making his fans “bastafarians.”

The Bastafarians are encouraged by Michael Avenatti’s derailed and damning tweets.

Bastafarian by Faster Redhead June 6, 2018

Grief shopping 

When someone close to you dies and you deal with depression by going shopping. Quite possibly with money to be inherited.

When Daniel’s father died, he did the ultimate grief shopping and bought a Mercedes.

Grief shopping by Faster Redhead May 24, 2018

Grief shopping 

When you experience the loss of a loved one and drown your sorrow by going on a shopping binge.

When her mom died, Debra went grief shopping and accumulated three pair of Louboutin platforms and two Gucci bags in an attempt to spend the grief away.

Grief shopping by Faster Redhead May 21, 2018

Blandjob 

A lazy and boring handjob with no enthusiasm

Giving someone a blandjob is one way to make sure you won’t see them naked again.

Blandjob by Faster Redhead October 31, 2017

dildon’t 

A vibrator that is so large that the thought of using it is beyond frightening.

I went shopping at the adult store and got spooked by some of the bigger dildon’ts.

dildon’t by Faster Redhead October 23, 2017