Faster Redhead's definitions

nonaversary

The date that you got married to your ex-spouse

I'm celebrating y first nonaversary by getting a boobjob and going to South Beach with my squad.

by Faster Redhead May 24, 2016

Weave queen

A woman who uses various hair extensions (clipped in, sewn in, bonded in), falls and wigs to achieve a sexy, glamourous look.

That girl is such a weave queen she could give Beyonce a run for her money.

by Faster Redhead June 16, 2016

Grief shopping

When you experience the loss of a loved one and drown your sorrow by going on a shopping binge.

When her mom died, Debra went grief shopping and accumulated three pair of Louboutin platforms and two Gucci bags in an attempt to spend the grief away.

by Faster Redhead May 21, 2018

sedermasochism

The forced act of celebrating the Jewish holiday of Passover (seder) with your dysfunctional family (masochism).

Dreading the sedermasochism I will experience when I go to my parents house for Passover next week.

by Faster Redhead May 24, 2016

Fellatious

A combination of fellatio and humorous. When you can’t stop laughing while you give a blow job.

If you watch stand up on while you fool around, you may end up with a fellatious partner.

by Faster Redhead November 19, 2023

Blandjob

A lazy and boring handjob with no enthusiasm

Giving someone a blandjob is one way to make sure you won’t see them naked again.

by Faster Redhead October 31, 2017

dildon’t

A vibrator that is so large that the thought of using it is beyond frightening.

I went shopping at the adult store and got spooked by some of the bigger dildon’ts.

by Faster Redhead October 23, 2017