Elburno's definitions

That tap is like a Eunuch's cock

Expression used by bar staff to describe a a beer tap for a product that is no longer in stock and has been so for an extended period. Generally the product in question will never be stocked again so it is only due to the idiotcy of management that the tap remains in place.

Customer: I'll have a pint of Becks.
Exasperated barman: Sorry but we've no Becks on draught.
Customer: But there's a tap there.
Increasingly irate barman: That tap is like a Eunuch's cock. I can pull at it all day and nothing's going to comeout.

by Elburno February 18, 2008

The Three Shake Rule

After using a urinal you're permitted to remove any excess urine off by shaking your cock twice. Three times you're just having a wank.

It's occasionally difficult to tell if people are simply ignorant of the three shake rule or if half the population of galway are chronic masturbators.

by Elburno February 23, 2008

press

it's like a cupboard only it's a press.

the plates go in the press.

by Elburno October 22, 2008

Irish Queer

Expression used in Ireland to describe a man more interested in women than drinking.

Rory: Alex left a double whiskey on the table to go chatting up some bird.
Shlong: What an Irish queer.
Enda: Yoink

by Elburno December 3, 2007

shlonginator

legend of a man. we're talking like totally here...

the shlonginator: basically, he came bearing middleton

john: nuff said!
rory;circle jerk?
enda: awesome!
shane: did anyone remember to bring soap?

*on an unrelated matter...
peter fap fap fap

by elburno March 9, 2008

watching the wire

1) the act of viewing the suberb hbo show the wire

2) a euphemism for self pleasure without wanting to say the words "masturbating like peter on the dole".

Lorcan: well i'm going on a big session of watching the wire so let me know if it needs to be disturbed
*fap fap fap*

by Elburno March 2, 2008

Procrastination

The art of never getting up off your hole and doing things.

Enda indulges in excessive amounts of procrastination as well as masturbation.

by Elburno February 24, 2008