73 definitions by ElCommissioner

An inchronicable event is anything that is strangely out of time phase with the perceived reality of the moment. A photo of George Washington eating from a bucket of Popeye's. An image of Beethoven writing his music on an I-Pad. Reading the Sunday paper on Saturday. Things possible, just not right.
When I received a text this morning from one "Abe LIncoln", I was struck with how inchronicable it felt. How did he charge his phone with no electricity?
by ElCommissioner March 14, 2018
With all of the modern forms of communication and document sharing, an e-sume is the electronically transferred resume and curriculum vitae of the day.
“I am ready to apply for my dream job. All I need to do is send in my e-sume,” said the recent college grad.
by ElCommissioner November 18, 2019
The passing on of bad news while sharing a delicious treat, hoping the listener with not fully grasp the news. A gastronomic smokescreen.
The seventeen year old boy employed the proven technique of Chocolate Cake Diplomacy, and told his parents that he had knocked up the neighbor girl, while serving them slices of a delicious, three layer chocolate cake that was " this high!".
by ElCommissioner April 21, 2017
Formal NorCal Yiddish-slang used to convey dismay or disbelief towards another person.
When he saw the woman jam five crackers with the new chocolate hummus in her mouth at the Napa Trader Joe's - at the same time- Thomas remarked audibly, "Oy Meysmir".
by ElCommissioner January 5, 2021
The small loop of fabric on the back of a man's dress shirt is called a fairy loop. Created in the 1960's as a way to hang the shirt from a hook without creating wrinkles, its official name is locker loop. It is unclear how the term fairy loop came into use.
"Thanks, but no. I do not need a hanger, I will use the fairy loop to hang my shirt."
by ElCommissioner April 14, 2021
Any leader of a group of people, who was "elected" to serve said people, but was actually appointed and propped up by an outside, usually sinister force.
I went down to City Hall to get a permit for the Cement Day Festival, but the damned Bolshoi President wanted me to check the box and donate to the friggin' Duck Pond fund.
by ElCommissioner March 26, 2017
When things turn out very differently than anybody could have foreseen, the event featured an oppo-plot. When life throws you a major curveball, you experience an oppo-plot. When the forces of Nature turn to reveal that things are just not as they seem, you live through an oppo-plot.
I filed my tax return, fully expecting to be thrown in jail for tax evasion. Then I received a letter from the IRS, they reviewed and adjusted my return, and ...talk about your oppo-plot...got a check for $1,355!
by ElCommissioner May 20, 2018