Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Ass Stogie

A relatively slender, 5-7 inch long turd, brown in color.

Herschel: Hey dude, I will be right back.
Frances: Where ya going, Braaaa?
Herschel: I gotta hit the Head. I am about to pass an Ass Stogie.
Frances: Sweet! Snap it off clean.

by Eaton Holgoode June 24, 2009

Cap and Gown

When a female requires her male sex partner to use both a condom for intercourse and a dental dam for cunnilingus.

I had sex with Rachel but damn she made me wear the cap and gown. No skin to skin.

I practice safer sex so cap and gown is required. So you can fuck anyone you want? Yes!!!

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018

Vagidictorian

A dude with the schlong so big pounds the top of the female cervix.

Roger is a vagidictorian. He beats my guts so hard my cervix is sore.

by Eaton Holgoode January 14, 2019

A Bad Rash

1. Euphemism used to describe and/or add emphasis as to how bad a situation may be.

2. A bad rash. Swelling and redness and I some cases itching and chaffing of the skin of an impacted area of the body.

My boss is like a bad rash. Always on my ass and driving me nuts.

I have a bad rash on my taint. I haven’t bathed for several days and it’s getting a tad itchy.

by Eaton Holgoode January 10, 2019

Flute Lessons

Leaning to suck a dick. Practice makes perfect.

Rachel is so hot but she needs some more flute lessons if this is ever gonna work out.

My girl is no cock monger. She needs some flute lessons. She’s all teeth.

by Eaton Holgoode December 10, 2018

Butter Skips

That greasy, warm buttery feeling between the butt cheeks when you skip to the bathroom for a wipe after sharting yourself.

Frank left this cubicle with the butter skips.

All that boiled cabbage last night gave me the butter skips today.

by Eaton Holgoode November 3, 2017

Slapping Ham

The loud, skin to skin, smacking and slapping sounds made while having intense, rough, pounding, doggie style vaginal or anal sex with a larger male or female who has meaty hamhocks type thighs and buttocks. The sound and visual flapping and flopping of the excess flesh is highly erotic.

After hiking her ass up doggie style and giving her boyfriend a organic spread, Carl hit his girlfriend's meaty, hamhock ass with a feverous pounding. The sounds of Slapping Ham woke his room mate who became aroused by the sound and the visions of her flabby, shaking thighs. He gave himself a quick dry rub and wanked himself back to sleep.

by Eaton Holgoode May 8, 2015