Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Ironclad Nads

A dude with a ballsack that's so tight, so taut, it's like a stretched piece of leather. It never hangs and almost appears as if there is no scrotum at all. When seen in porn, one asks "Where's that dude's sack? Ewwwww!"

What's with Roger's man sack? It's like he has a cock only. He's got ironclad nads brooohhh. Those nuts are always taut.

by Eaton Holgoode March 10, 2017

Five Knuckle Plug

Achieving a full hand fisting of your partner's anus of or vagina. Requires patience and lots of lube and very pleasurable gaping.

It took over an hour but I finally did the Five Knuckle Plug on her ass. That baby gaped for 10 minutes before it snapped back shut.

by Eaton Holgoode March 29, 2017

Pappy's Old Dress Sock

A dirty, used condom belonging to an elderly male. Typically never thrown away and usually disposed of in an improper manner like left on the floor, in a bed pan for the nurse, on the back of a golf cart, or on the sidewalk.

Frank was walking in to the nursing home to visit his grandmother when he spotted Pappy's Old Dress Sock tossed in the corner of the lobby.

by Eaton Holgoode February 25, 2015

Holin’

To have sex. Or going out in search of sex.

I’ll be holin’ Rachel after work tonight so don’t call me.

Hey braaaaahhhh. Let’s go holin’ tonight.

by Eaton Holgoode June 17, 2018

Delecate Petals

Pussy lips. Perfectly shaped, slightly glistening and fragrantly stimulating.

I ate her delecate petals braaaahhhh. All night. She was squirming.

by Eaton Holgoode April 7, 2017

Grandpa's Hard Candy

A Viagra induced, raging hard on of a geriatric male.

Carol: Sonja keep an eye out over there. That old pervert is giving you the eye.
Sonja: I can see that. I can also see he's got a pocket full of Grandpa's Hard Candy.
Carol: Ewwwwww. Let's go.

by Eaton Holgoode June 3, 2016

Stroke Nap

When you wank so hard or so much you exhaust yourself and immediately need a nap to recover.

Clean up of busted nut with a gak towel is highly recommended prior to the stroke nap. Otherwise, one wakes with their cock glued to their leg or abdomen and fingers and pubes may be adhered with an opaque crust.

After watching porn and wanking for two hours straight, I needed a stroke nap.

I wanked and nutted so hard I passed out into a stroke nap. Unfortunately, I woke up and my thumb and index finger were glued together with my cock snot.

by Eaton Holgoode October 9, 2018