Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Afternoon Coffee Pot

The afternoon coffee shits. Typically experienced at work after the lunch hour. Typically, the stool is accompanied by an aromatic java fragrance that only Juan Valdez could be proud of.

All that Starbucks this morning mixed with that lunch from the House of Curry resulted in brewing up an Afternoon Coffee Pot.

by Eaton Holgoode June 6, 2018

Urethraholic

When one is sexually addicted to performing oral sex on males, females or both. Noted by constant cravings and aggitation when sexually deprived for extended periods.

If it's not one cock, it's another. Carla is a real urethraholic. She can't get enough.

by Eaton Holgoode November 23, 2016

The Toledo Tablecloth

The Toledo Tablecloth is primarily used to score revenge or payback and is similar to a Texas Doily. The Toledo Tablecloth is best deployed over an end table or other small decorative table. Once deployed, a rapid exit from the location where it has been laid should be made so as to leave the tablecloth behind for furture discovery.

To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.

Unfortunately, Roger got off from work early and decided to drop by his girlfriend Mary Ann's house and surprise her. To Roger's dismay, he crept in only to find Mary Ann having sex with her neighbor Carl. Roger walked in just as Carl was diggning in the garden. Rather than becoming enraged, Roger did not disrupt their doggie style play and left the room. He copped a squat in the living room and laid a fresh, wet shart in his grunders. He then created The Toledo Tablecloth on Mary Ann's brand new Rooms To Go end table. He quickly left the house so he could clean up his sticky crack corn at a nearby 7-11.

by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014

Woke Up Hungry

Waking up in the wee morning hours aching for sex.

Dude you are late for work again.

I know braaaahhh. My girl woke up hungry. Had to hit it.

Excused!

by Eaton Holgoode February 24, 2017

Willie Wanka

A reference to a male that is known to be a chronic masturbator or wanker.

Watch out for Carl. He's a real Willie Wanka.

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2016

Cockem’

A small penis with a large, bulbous bellend.

I was a little disappointed to discover he had a cockem’.

by Eaton Holgoode February 8, 2018

Bulb Job

While giving you sloppy wet head, your girl grasps your scrotum and twists it around repeatedly likes she holding and installing a light bulb. Once the scrotum is to the point of tightness and inability to twist the balls any further, she releases the sack and it spins back to its normal saggy, dangly position. Repeat as desired.

My balls are so sore today. Rachel gave me the best bulb Job last night.

by Eaton Holgoode January 24, 2018