Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Lunch Break Special

Taking your lunch break at the local park and getting a vigorous hand job from a homeless vagrant while noshing on your PB & J with the crust trimmed.

I’m so full and satisfied from lunch today. Cool. What did you have? The lunch break special down at 5 Points Park.

by Eaton Holgoode January 27, 2018

Diddledo

Any improvised device used for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or masturbation. To be considered a Diddledo, the device's primary functioning purpose must not be for sexual gratification. For example, a hairbrush, a spoon handle, a toothbrush or a chair leg would all qualify as a Diddledos when they are used to diddle one's self to a euphoric state of sexual bliss.

Having become bored with her customary routine of self-pleasuring with her fingers, Jane decided to be adventurous and used her new Martha Stewart Collection spoon handle as a Diddledo and made herself squirt.

by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015

Udder Job

When your girl gives you a hand job milking your cock like a cow’s udder.

Typically performed while male is on all fours with cock dangling down like an engorged cow udder. Milking to competition in a bucket or glass optional.

Sheila gave me the best udder job last night. Milked me like a cow.

by Eaton Holgoode December 13, 2017

Prune Minge

When that pussy hair minge is all gray and old.

Rachel is only 35 and she already got the prune minge. I made her shave it since I don’t want think I’m doing my Grammy.

by Eaton Holgoode February 8, 2018

A Bad Rash

1. Euphemism used to describe and/or add emphasis as to how bad a situation may be.

2. A bad rash. Swelling and redness and I some cases itching and chaffing of the skin of an impacted area of the body.

My boss is like a bad rash. Always on my ass and driving me nuts.

I have a bad rash on my taint. I haven’t bathed for several days and it’s getting a tad itchy.

by Eaton Holgoode January 10, 2019

Louisiana Mud Hen

A female, usually a relative, that hits you up for anal sex every time you are together.

My cousin Rachel is a Louisiana Mud Hen. Every family Gary together she wants me up
In dat ass.

by Eaton Holgoode June 5, 2018

Cap and Gown

When a female requires her male sex partner to use both a condom for intercourse and a dental dam for cunnilingus.

I had sex with Rachel but damn she made me wear the cap and gown. No skin to skin.

I practice safer sex so cap and gown is required. So you can fuck anyone you want? Yes!!!

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018