Skip to main content

Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Dry Wipe 

The most satisfying wipe job performed for rectal cleansing post defecation. To dry wipe, one pinches a clean turd and the subsequent wiping of the ass results in the toilet paper being clean and "dry" and free of any fecal remnants.
Roger was already running late for work but he felt the urge to take a dump before embarking upon his long commute to the office. Fortunately for Roger and his high fiber diet, he was able to pinch off a clean loaf and was able to dry wipe thus saving him valuable time.
Dry Wipe by Eaton Holgoode September 27, 2015

Dry Wipe 

The most satisfying wipe job performed for rectal cleansing post defecation. To dry wipe, one pinches a clean turd and the subsequent wiping of the ass results in the toilet paper being clean and "dry" and free of any fecal remnants.
Roger was already running late for work but he felt the urge to take a dump before embarking upon his long commute to the office. Fortunately for Roger and his high fiber diet, he was able to pinch off a clean loaf and was able to dry wipe thus saving him valuable time.
Dry Wipe by Eaton Holgoode September 27, 2015

Flapulence 

Another name for a Moist Flapper. A nasty, wet sounding fart that creates a noticeable flapping sound made by one's anal sphincter when releasing flatulence aka gas. The flapping sound is most often, but not always, caused by the presence of wet gas or loose stool or from the occurrence of a shart. Sometimes, the flap is simply caused by the sheer force of the gaseous expulsion.
Feeling a little irregularity in his digestive system, Carl found himself rushing from his sales meeting to relieve himself of his explosive Flapulence in the executive washroom. After release, he gave himself a quick courtesy wipe just make sure he didn't get any Moose Jelly or skid marks in his grunders.
Flapulence by Eaton Holgoode September 19, 2015

Wetter than a Schoolgirl on Prom Night

A colloquial expression used to describe a situation or condition, for a male or female, that creates extreme excitement, creates a state of extreme euphoria or is extremely stimulating. Excitement, euphoria and stimulation may be visual, emotional, physical and/or sexual.
Example 1: Carla was Wetter than a Schoolgirl on Prom Night when Carla saw the line up of artist at upcoming EDM festival. She couldn't wait to get her tickets.

Example 2: Roger was summoned to his bosses office at 4:30 p.m. on Friday. Fearing the worst, he presumed he was getting fired. However, he left the office Wetter than a School Girl on Prom Night after being told he was getting a raise and a promotion.
Example 3: After several hours of sexting and sexual banter during the course of their date, Frank and managed to get Rhonda so hot and so turned on that she was Wetter than a Schoolgirl on Prom Night. Ronda was peeling her panties off in the car as they were pulling back into the driveway.

Walrus Job 

An extremely painful blow job and ball sucking created when he giver teethes the male genitals and ball sack. A Walrus Job is typically experienced when oral is provided by an inexperienced lover or simply from sloppy head giving by someone with sharp teeth or a snaggle toothed mouth.
Carl: Hey Joe! How was your date with the new waitress last night? She's really hot.
Joe: Yea Braaaahhh, she's hot. But that bitch can't suck a dick. She was gnawing my cock like teething ring.
Carl: Sounds painful brother. Nothing worse than a hot chick giving a Walrus Job.
Walrus Job by Eaton Holgoode September 17, 2015

Walrus Job 

An extremely painful blow job and ball sucking created when he giver teethes the male genitals and ball sack. A Walrus Job is typically experienced when oral is provided by an inexperienced lover or simply from sloppy head giving by someone with sharp teeth or a snaggle toothed mouth.
Carl: Hey Joe! How was your date with the new waitress last night? She's really hot.
Joe: Yea Braaaahhh, she's hot. But that bitch can't suck a dick. She was gnawing my cock like teething ring.
Carl: Sounds painful brother. Nothing worse than a hot chick giving a Walrus Job.
Walrus Job by Eaton Holgoode September 17, 2015

Rotulence 

The most vile, rotten and putrid flatulence that can be expelled from the human body. Rotulence is thick, pungent and engulfs all breathable air within the surrounding area. The odiferous stench can linger for extended periods and often clings to the inside of the nose. Rotulence is noted for its inherent ability to induce gagging and retching in the individuals that come into contact with the rancid gas.
Roger and several of his friends set out for a weekend road trip. The lunch stop at Taco Bell later proved to be an ill fated move when Carl blasted several rounds of a fiery bean burrito induced Rotulence. Roger was forced to pull to the side of the road, roll down the windows and allow everyone out of the car to obtain breathable air. They later drove to a nearby gas station allowing Carl the opportunity to eradicate his rancid bowels.
Rotulence by Eaton Holgoode September 17, 2015