Definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
Gunny Granny Flu
A disease very similar to Middletons' Disease only much worse. This disease is suffered by Beatrice Middleton when she wants to play with the kids, but they aren't there. It is also commonly seen in the Middletons' pet dog, Bumper, when he wants to play. When she gets Gunny Granny Flu Beatrice is often stuck in the house and is very lonely. It is cured by intense workouts and other treatments such as massages. So if you love the comic strip 'The Middletons', be careful - you might get Middletons' Disease and the Gunny Granny Flu.
Bumper: Uh oh, its school time again. I bet Miss Beatrice will have the Gunny Granny Flu.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
Gunny Granny Flu by Dusty's Baby Powder September 13, 2011
Valentine Volcano
A volcano that spews hearts. A Valentine Volcano is most often seen at a senior center when two older people are very much in love, such as is seen with Beatrice Middleton and her boyfriend, Hec Hanley. A Valentine Volcano is very hard to stop; when it erupts, look out! Your heart will be on fire.
Beatrice: Wow! There's a Valentine Volcano out here. (she kisses Hec)
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
Valentine Volcano by Dusty's Baby Powder September 4, 2011
Motley Mash
A judo throw similar to the Horsey Hug done much the same way, e.g. wrapping the hands around the person's neck so you're hugging them. Then throwing the legs into the hug so the whole body is involved. This version of the throw was introduced by Mabel Motley, a character in a comic strip called "Motley's Crew" which no longer exists, 1976-2000. She has been known to use it on her husband, Mike.
Mabel: Whoah! I haven't done my judo in so long. I bet its time for a Motley Mash. (yelling for Mike) Mike, come here!
Mike: Hey! You're doing the Motley Mash, I see. Come on and give me a squeeze. (he hugs her with his legs)
Mabel: Wait, you didn't get your hands in there. Its not a Motley Mash yet. (she throws him) There!
Jim: Hey, I know judo. Can I play, too? (he picks Mabel up and throws her)
Mabel: Whoah, what a crush! You just gave me a Motley Mash. What belt are you at?
Jim: (laughing) 3rd kyu brown. I've been studying this for years. I do it on the Misses all the time. Man, me and wife Iris, we toss each other around like a rag doll. (yelling) Rear naked choke! (he throws Mike on the ground and does a rear naked choke)
Mabel: (screaming) This is one big judo bash, and it all started from the Motley Mash!
Mike: Hey! You're doing the Motley Mash, I see. Come on and give me a squeeze. (he hugs her with his legs)
Mabel: Wait, you didn't get your hands in there. Its not a Motley Mash yet. (she throws him) There!
Jim: Hey, I know judo. Can I play, too? (he picks Mabel up and throws her)
Mabel: Whoah, what a crush! You just gave me a Motley Mash. What belt are you at?
Jim: (laughing) 3rd kyu brown. I've been studying this for years. I do it on the Misses all the time. Man, me and wife Iris, we toss each other around like a rag doll. (yelling) Rear naked choke! (he throws Mike on the ground and does a rear naked choke)
Mabel: (screaming) This is one big judo bash, and it all started from the Motley Mash!
Motley Mash by Dusty's Baby Powder August 25, 2011
Opal O
A warm up exercise created by Opal Crankshaft on August 19, 2011. The idea behind it is to form yourself into an 'O' by doing the bow pose from Yoga but extending it so that you form a complete circle. This is one of the most fun exercises you can do. Opal Crankshaft loves it, and so will you.
Opal: Hey Beatrice, check out this funky new stretch! Its the called the Opal O. You'll love it!
Beatrice: The Opal O? What is it? How do you do it?
Opal: You just bend yourself into an O, see, like this. (she bends herself into an 'O') See? This is the Opal O. And when I say its a good stretch, I mean its a streeeetch!
Beatrice: (tries the Opal O) Hey! Let's show it to the kids. I bet they'll like it. They might want to try it before the next soccer game. (blows the whistle) Hey kids, come here! I got a new exercise for us to try.
Wilson: Coach Beatrice, are you kidding me? And who is that other lady? I'm not sure if we want to do this.
Beatrice: Easy, honey. This is my friend Coach Opal. She's the one who invented this. And you're gonna love it. Now, I want you all to do it ten times. (blows the whistle) Move it! MOVE IT!
Opal: (get the coach whistle from Beatrice) Come on guys, you'll love this. It helps me. Now, that's it, easy now.
Beatrice: You're right! They loved it. Its a hit! (she does the Opal O again) Great! My back feels better. The Opal O rocks!
Beatrice: The Opal O? What is it? How do you do it?
Opal: You just bend yourself into an O, see, like this. (she bends herself into an 'O') See? This is the Opal O. And when I say its a good stretch, I mean its a streeeetch!
Beatrice: (tries the Opal O) Hey! Let's show it to the kids. I bet they'll like it. They might want to try it before the next soccer game. (blows the whistle) Hey kids, come here! I got a new exercise for us to try.
Wilson: Coach Beatrice, are you kidding me? And who is that other lady? I'm not sure if we want to do this.
Beatrice: Easy, honey. This is my friend Coach Opal. She's the one who invented this. And you're gonna love it. Now, I want you all to do it ten times. (blows the whistle) Move it! MOVE IT!
Opal: (get the coach whistle from Beatrice) Come on guys, you'll love this. It helps me. Now, that's it, easy now.
Beatrice: You're right! They loved it. Its a hit! (she does the Opal O again) Great! My back feels better. The Opal O rocks!
Opal O by Dusty's Baby Powder August 23, 2011
Leroy Lunge
A pre-run exercise created by Leroy Lockhorn done not unlike a normal lunge, but spelling Leroy in every set. Every time you lunge, you spell one letter in the name 'Leroy'. e.g. - 'L' on the left, 'E' on the right, and so on alternating until the name is spelled. Also, the lunge is very often lengthened so its a stretch as well as a lunge. Its a great way to warm up for jogging. Take it from a former Hawaii Warrior, the Leroy Lunge rocks!
Leroy: Should I go for a run today? If I'm gonna run, I better do my Leroy Lunge! (he starts lunging: 'L' - 'E' - 'R' - 'O' - 'Y') Easy there, streeetch into it!
Stan: Wow! What's that? That's better than my Stanley S. What is it?
Leroy: Well, its my Leroy Lunge. Its this warm up stretch I do. Its awesome! Why don't we try it. With you we should spell 'Stanley' instead of 'Leroy'.
Stan: (trying the Leroy Lunge) 'S' - 'T' - 'A' - 'N' - 'L' - 'E' - 'Y' Wow! That really works.
Leroy: Well, don't you love it? See, the longer you hold it the more stretch you get. Just remember not to do it all at once. You've got to ease into this thing.
Stan: I'll have to show Rabbit. She'll love it too. This is crazy!
Leroy: Well, you want your legs as soft as a sponge, try stretching them with the Leroy Lunge! Let's get going!
Stan: Wow! What's that? That's better than my Stanley S. What is it?
Leroy: Well, its my Leroy Lunge. Its this warm up stretch I do. Its awesome! Why don't we try it. With you we should spell 'Stanley' instead of 'Leroy'.
Stan: (trying the Leroy Lunge) 'S' - 'T' - 'A' - 'N' - 'L' - 'E' - 'Y' Wow! That really works.
Leroy: Well, don't you love it? See, the longer you hold it the more stretch you get. Just remember not to do it all at once. You've got to ease into this thing.
Stan: I'll have to show Rabbit. She'll love it too. This is crazy!
Leroy: Well, you want your legs as soft as a sponge, try stretching them with the Leroy Lunge! Let's get going!
Leroy Lunge by Dusty's Baby Powder August 21, 2011
Coach K Chicken
A form of fried chicken created by Beatrice Middleton. Done by marinating the chicken in blueberry juice, thus imparting a blue color and sweet flavor. It is often eaten before Duke games to get into the mood to win. It was named after Duke basketball coach Mike "Coach K" Krzyzewski. Beatrice just happens to be friends with him being an alumnus of Duke herself.
Beatrice: Hey honey, are you hungry? I'm fixing you some Coach K Chicken. This is devilishly delicious!
Bryant: How do you make it? It looks like it tastes good.
Beatrice: You marinate the chicken in blueberry juice. It makes it sweet. Turns it a really pretty shade of blue, too. (screaming) GO BLUE DEVILS!
Coach K: Well if it isn't Beatrice Middleton herself. I hear you're making my chicken. I'm pretty hungry. The boys just had a big game. We smashed NC State good!
Beatrice: Okay, its almost done. (fries the chicken) Here, try this. See what you think of it.
(Coach K and Bryant try the chicken)
Bryant: Wow! This blueberry juice really pops. Its like a blueberry in my mouth.
Coach K: Good one, Beatrice! I haven't had this in a long time. I'm gonna have to teach the guys how to make this.
Beatrice: Well, if Coach K likes it, everyone will! This Gunny Granny sure can cook! Hey, there's a Duke game on. Let's take it in the living room, boys. This is going to be sweet. This is one kickin' chicken!
Bryant: How do you make it? It looks like it tastes good.
Beatrice: You marinate the chicken in blueberry juice. It makes it sweet. Turns it a really pretty shade of blue, too. (screaming) GO BLUE DEVILS!
Coach K: Well if it isn't Beatrice Middleton herself. I hear you're making my chicken. I'm pretty hungry. The boys just had a big game. We smashed NC State good!
Beatrice: Okay, its almost done. (fries the chicken) Here, try this. See what you think of it.
(Coach K and Bryant try the chicken)
Bryant: Wow! This blueberry juice really pops. Its like a blueberry in my mouth.
Coach K: Good one, Beatrice! I haven't had this in a long time. I'm gonna have to teach the guys how to make this.
Beatrice: Well, if Coach K likes it, everyone will! This Gunny Granny sure can cook! Hey, there's a Duke game on. Let's take it in the living room, boys. This is going to be sweet. This is one kickin' chicken!
Coach K Chicken by Dusty's Baby Powder August 18, 2011
Ralphritis
A very painful form of arthritis suffered by Ralph Drabble, especially after working in the yard. The condition is so painful that sometimes he can hardly stand up. It is often accompanied by him talking to his body, saying things such as "Come on, left knee!" or "Keep going lower back!" The best known cure is the Drabble Stand, the exercise with which he ends his yard chores.
Ralph: Oh no, not Ralphritis! I'm gonna have to do a Drabble Stand, big time. Come on, left knee! You can do this! Easy, easy now.
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
Ralphritis by Dusty's Baby Powder August 17, 2011