A push up done by Ben Hatley. Done by holding one hand on the floor and pushing yourself only by one arm and only by the index finger. These are intensely hard to do. They can also be done against a wall. Its one of Ben's favorite exercises. So if you want arms no woman would want to leave, stand on one hand and do a Hatley Heave!
Ben: Hey Michael, look at this! I'm doing my Hatley Heave.
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 07, 2011
A sweatsuit that is worn by Ed Crankshaft. Actually, it is made of his everyday clothes which include the following: red jacket, white dress shirt, black pants, white socks, and often black oxfords, but also sometimes white sneakers. The sneaker version was most recently worn the other day. Its a great outfit for everyday wear but also for exercise as well. Take it from a former Mudhen, if you want great clothes wear when the workout bug shoots, grab a Cranksuit, its a hoot!
Ed: Whoa, its a great day for a workout! I'd better get my Cranksuit on.
Pam: You wear your Cranksuit all the time. What's so special about working out in it?
Ed: Well, all you have to do is add sneakers and it goes into a sweatsuit. I love this baby! (bends over and touches his toes)
Mac: Hey, you two, what's up? I saw you exercising and I wanted to join in the fun. Look, I got my Mudhens on!
Ed: (still stretching himself) Sure, you don't have to have a Cranksuit. Is that one of my old Mudhen suits?
Mac: Yeah, I snuck into your house and grabbed one out of your closet. I hope you don't care.
Ed: Yeah, whether you have a Cranksuit or not its a great day to stretch! First one to the hot dog stand is a dirty Mudhen!
Pam: (starts laughing) Dad, you're gonna get it! Watch out! (she starts jogging after him) You dirty bird!
Mac: Now, now, now. Don't say that. I love him! He looks good in his Cranksuit.
Ed: Whew, what a workout! How about some hot dogs? My treat.
Pam: You wear your Cranksuit all the time. What's so special about working out in it?
Ed: Well, all you have to do is add sneakers and it goes into a sweatsuit. I love this baby! (bends over and touches his toes)
Mac: Hey, you two, what's up? I saw you exercising and I wanted to join in the fun. Look, I got my Mudhens on!
Ed: (still stretching himself) Sure, you don't have to have a Cranksuit. Is that one of my old Mudhen suits?
Mac: Yeah, I snuck into your house and grabbed one out of your closet. I hope you don't care.
Ed: Yeah, whether you have a Cranksuit or not its a great day to stretch! First one to the hot dog stand is a dirty Mudhen!
Pam: (starts laughing) Dad, you're gonna get it! Watch out! (she starts jogging after him) You dirty bird!
Mac: Now, now, now. Don't say that. I love him! He looks good in his Cranksuit.
Ed: Whew, what a workout! How about some hot dogs? My treat.
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 17, 2011
Being very easily frustrated as if by one's wife or husband. Used and named after Ralph and June Drabble.
Ralph was running on the treadmill when June walked by and accidentally unplugged the cord, causing Ralph to become extremely Drabbled.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 20, 2010
A rough intense foot massage mostly given by Opal Crankshaft. Mostly given in a bucket of water with cocoa butter and honey lotion added to it. Opal often does this to her ex-husband, Earl, when he won't play footsie with her.
Opal: Hey Earl, you want a tootsie tickler?
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 11, 2010
A card game invented by Beatrice Middleton. Mostly played over the phone, but can also be played with cards. Two decks of cards are needed for this game. Played much like normal poker except using the parts of the body instead of chips to make bets with. Whoever has the most 'body' at the end of the game wins. So, next time you're looking for some fun - get a bunch of your granny friends together and play some Body Poker. You will love it! Beatrice Middleton Approved!!
Beatrice: Hey Flo, you up for a game tonight? What do you think, maybe Body Poker?
Flo: (whooping!) Bring it on, Beatrice! Bring it on! Two body draw, kidneys wild!
(A knock at the door)
Hec: Hey girls, what's going on? Whoah, do I smell Body Poker going on? Deal me in, grannies!
Flo: Okay, you're up. I'll be you two kidneys against one heart.
Beatrice: I'll see your bet and raise you some Spider Veins! My blue babies!
Hec: (growling) Well, throw in an arthritic knee and its a deal!
(Laughing from the next room)
Morris: (talking to Midge) What are they doing in there? Are they doing that Body Poker stuff again?
Midge: Sure, they love to play it. You know, when you get old your body falls apart.
Morrs: Well, maybe they should deal me up. I'll go ask them.
Hec: (hearing Morris from the other room) Sure! I'll raise you a stiff back. You're in!
(Everyone starts laughing)
Beatrice: Pay up, sonny! I'll raise you a whole body for just your back!
Morris: Rock on, Body Poker is the newest Blackjack!
Flo: (whooping!) Bring it on, Beatrice! Bring it on! Two body draw, kidneys wild!
(A knock at the door)
Hec: Hey girls, what's going on? Whoah, do I smell Body Poker going on? Deal me in, grannies!
Flo: Okay, you're up. I'll be you two kidneys against one heart.
Beatrice: I'll see your bet and raise you some Spider Veins! My blue babies!
Hec: (growling) Well, throw in an arthritic knee and its a deal!
(Laughing from the next room)
Morris: (talking to Midge) What are they doing in there? Are they doing that Body Poker stuff again?
Midge: Sure, they love to play it. You know, when you get old your body falls apart.
Morrs: Well, maybe they should deal me up. I'll go ask them.
Hec: (hearing Morris from the other room) Sure! I'll raise you a stiff back. You're in!
(Everyone starts laughing)
Beatrice: Pay up, sonny! I'll raise you a whole body for just your back!
Morris: Rock on, Body Poker is the newest Blackjack!
by Dusty's Baby Powder June 17, 2011
A workout done inside a chapel by Catholic priests. This was first done by SFC. Fr. Roger Stainglass when he's preaching a sermon. It mostly consists of three exercises called "God Squats", "Lord Lunges", and "Jehovah Jacks". Usually they are done in three or four rounds in quick succession. A circuit of this always ends by kneeling on the prayer bench and saying one Hail Mary before the next circuit begins. Stainy does this in the mornings before the early service. So if you want a religious workout that will really perk you, try a Communion Circuit - it can't hurt you! Stainy Stainglass said so!
Stainy: Hey Bryant, you feel like some exercise? Let's do our Communion Circuit. I need some stretches.
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 24, 2011
A painful lower leg condition most notably suffered by Ben Hatley. Especially if he hasn't stretched before running. This condition is often very painful causing Ben to scream. A notable example of Bendinitis happened on May 12, 2006 when he didn't realize he and Liv were only stretching before running. But it can quickly be made up.
Ben: Oh no, I shouldn't have gone running. I've got a terrible Bendinitis.
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 09, 2011