Drex Johnson's definitions
Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
Get the bellus terminusmug. Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..
John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013
Get the wankportmug. A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
Get the fish rackmug. The Polite Spoonerist way of addressing Winnie The Pooh's father, the unforunately named Winnie The Shit..
Boy: "Daddy, why is Winnie the Pooh called Pooh?"
Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."
Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..
Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"
Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."
Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..
Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the shinnie the witmug. Acronym. Would Rather Insert My Dick In The Hoover..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Jack:- So then, Drex, would you slip it one?
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
by Drex Johnson October 21, 2011
Get the WRIMDITHmug. An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
Get the Barbie Hammockmug. Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
Get the badger queenmug.