Drex Johnson's definitions
An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
Get the Barbie Hammockmug. Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
Get the badger queenmug. A stupid slut that a non-committal guy uses for sex.
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
"I dumped her, she said she just wanted a fuck buddy, but I bet she'd be trying to get me to move in within a few weeks.. "
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
Get the fuck buddymug. A large juicy and succulent vagina with mouth-wateringly sweet pink and fleshy lips..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Big lady was a strange name for a woman who was only slightly above average height and was not really more weighty than the average western factory farm fed female.. (220lbs)..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
by Drex Johnson October 18, 2016
Get the gutted salmonmug. Acronym. Would Rather Insert My Dick In The Hoover..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Jack:- So then, Drex, would you slip it one?
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
by Drex Johnson October 21, 2011
Get the WRIMDITHmug. Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..
John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013
Get the wankportmug. I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
Get the Common Universal Natural Tendencymug.