Definitions by Drex Johnson

Grimsby trawler 

A rough looking heavy-set dumpy whore who is unlikely to appeal to the average punter. Occasionally seen plodding the beat in red-light areas late on, looking desperate and dejected holding a carrier bag and with her over-sized dugs resting on her cannibal cooking pot sized belly half exposed..

Sir was on tour again last night and the streets were somewhat empty of prime stock.. However, a Grimsby trawler was seen moving slowly down the main drag and Richard wondered what her price might be..

Such an act would surely be considered a charitable deed, but alas, as he returned, his chances of having his bell chewed were negated as she was no longer apparent.. Some other sexual philanthropist had snaffled the beast..

Grimsby trawler by Drex Johnson October 28, 2019

Grem 

Rubbish skateboarder. Popular in the UK back in the 70's..

Gremtec Coyote skateboards .. Cheap little plastic planks often seen tictacking along the flat until the grems riding them realise the reason they cant handle the half pipe yet is because 360's are not everything and a wider board is more stable..
And most of all, they are still grems!

Grem by Drex Johnson May 27, 2017

gutted salmon 

A large juicy and succulent vagina with mouth-wateringly sweet pink and fleshy lips..

Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..

More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..

Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..

Big lady was a strange name for a woman who was only slightly above average height and was not really more weighty than the average western factory farm fed female.. (220lbs)..

But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..

gutted salmon by Drex Johnson October 18, 2016

Genurine 

Genuine sounding, but more likely than not a complete piss-take..

I knew I was correct in my long held belief that the princess was really genurine in her role as the faithful loving wife of the future king when I noted the startling resemblance of one her sons to his father..

Genurine by Drex Johnson October 14, 2015

FTP 

Face, Tits, Pussy.. The basic "big 3" pics required before a gentleman decides if it is worth having a midnight randyvous with any lady in question that he may have found while browsing the internet on his wankport..

Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..

Richard always insisted on getting the FTP shots from any lady he was considering meeting, but often he would blow his load immediately he saw them and then decide she was too much of a cheap slut anyway.. So perhaps it was counterproductive in a strangely unexpected way.. Wankers remorse..?

FTP by Drex Johnson October 19, 2014

Shag Dodger 

A person who avoids their obligations in the bedroom (or any other place where sex can be expected to happen)..

Drex was most put out at the expectation that he should shaft Big Lady after she had made him another fine meal..

All he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but the thought of her labelling him a "Shag Dodger" in the morning was too depressing to contemplate so he reluctantly Rogered her brains out several times..

Shag Dodger by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014

Common Universal Natural Tendency 

How to say "Cunt" without making it obvious..

I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..

Common Universal Natural Tendency by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014