wankport

Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..

John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..

His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..

by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013

fish rack

A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..

Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..

Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..

Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..

Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..

by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011

bellus terminus

Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..

Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..

Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!

by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011

shinnie the wit

The Polite Spoonerist way of addressing Winnie The Pooh's father, the unforunately named Winnie The Shit..

Boy: "Daddy, why is Winnie the Pooh called Pooh?"

Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."

Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..

Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"

by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010

WRIMDITH

Acronym. Would Rather Insert My Dick In The Hoover..

Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..

Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..

Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..

Jack:- So then, Drex, would you slip it one?

Drex:- Wrimdith..

It's Friend:- What's that mean?

Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..

It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..

Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!

It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?

Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...

by Drex Johnson October 21, 2011

gutted salmon

A large juicy and succulent vagina with mouth-wateringly sweet pink and fleshy lips..

Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..

More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..

Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..

Big lady was a strange name for a woman who was only slightly above average height and was not really more weighty than the average western factory farm fed female.. (220lbs)..

But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..

by Drex Johnson October 18, 2016

one-eyed-bed-snake

The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..

Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..

The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..

by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010