Definitions by Dick Onchin

Ass Crack Fever 

Catching a nasty STD from anal sex. Usually from a filthy whore or or prostitute.

What is it doc? I feel horrible and I think my cock is going to rot off.

Have you had anal?
Yes.

Was he or she clean?
No. She was a street walker and gave it up for $5 so I had to clap them cheeks. Wouldn’t you?
Ummmm. No. That’s nasty. You have the ass crack fever. Here is a script now go soak your penis in bleach.

Ass Crack Fever by Dick Onchin August 26, 2020

Soft Bone 

A semi-erect Penis. Typically unable to achieve a raging hard on. Usually hard enough for a wank or receiving oral but unable to penetrate.

Too much booze last night gave me the soft bone so she just blew me and a nut buttered her tonsils.

Soft Bone by Dick Onchin August 26, 2020

Gentleman’s Bridle 

Fishhooking your index fingers inside both sides of her mouth while you take her to pound town from behind.

After deploying the gentleman’s bridle, I clapped her cheeks and steered her around the house. Eventually made to the kitchen for a beer before I blew her back out.

Gentleman’s Bridle by Dick Onchin August 25, 2020

Turdjugal Visit 

A hook up strictly for an ass hammering session of vigorous anal sex.

Oh he came over last night for a turdjugal visit. I took 8 before I had to tap out.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. All the family will be here and I can expect my uncle will want to have a turdjugal visit with me during halftime.

My grades improved after offering my professor an occasional turdjugal visit.

The old lady got a little drunk and horny last night so I got a turdjugal visit. She been on the shitter all day trying to snap a plug.

Turdjugal Visit by Dick Onchin August 23, 2020

Moist Slide 

Letting loose a fart but you shit your undies or panties just a little bit instead.

I did a moist slide during the meeting. I had to excuse myself for a quick wipe.

Moist Slide by Dick Onchin August 14, 2020

Dry Bagger

A male that’s a daily marathon wanker. Masturbates feverishly, multiple times a day to the point of unloading every drop of available nut and leaving an aching dry bag. May result in a glistening bead.

Very common amongst horny teens, homebound workers during the Covid crisis and the porn addicted.

My old roommate was a dry bagger. He would wank about a dozen times a day to ladyboy porn then bitch about his ballsack aching.

Dry Bagger by Dick Onchin August 11, 2020

Bung Beans

Hemorrhoids. The flaming, engorged and thrombosed variety.

After years of vigorous anal sex, she was left the worst case of bung beans ever witnessed by the medical community.

Bung Beans by Dick Onchin August 9, 2020