Definitions by Dick Onchin
Alabama Bootstraps
I snuck into my cousin’s room and hiked up her night gown and gave a good tugging to her Alabama bootstraps before I cornholed her.
Alabama Bootstraps by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Dinner Birth
I was going back for thanksgiving meal thirds when I got cut short with a dinner birth.
Christmas was followed by a revolving door of friends and family doing the old dinner birth.
My visit to the Mongolian barbecue ended up with a pit stop at the gas station on the way home to push a dinner birth. I was crowing for a half a mile.
Christmas was followed by a revolving door of friends and family doing the old dinner birth.
My visit to the Mongolian barbecue ended up with a pit stop at the gas station on the way home to push a dinner birth. I was crowing for a half a mile.
Dinner Birth by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Ceiling Painter
A male, usually a teen or twenty something, who is such a virile, semen machine, that he’s able to to bust a copious nut several feet into the air.
My Grindr hook up was a ceiling painter. Glad my face was not in the line of fire. I may have lost an eye.
I prefer a ceiling painter as opposed to a dribbler. How’s your prostate by the way?
I prefer a ceiling painter as opposed to a dribbler. How’s your prostate by the way?
Ceiling Painter by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Texas Wet Wipe
Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
Texas Wet Wipe by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Texas Wet Wipe
Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
Texas Wet Wipe by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Frost Jaw
Frost Jaw by Dick Onchin November 2, 2020