Derik's definitions

Emoglobin

n. Physiologically similar to hemoglobin, emoglobin is characteristically considered to be caused by a base-pair mutation in the genotypes of "highly emotional" teens. This mutation generally expresses itself in teen and pre-teen years, which will cause the affected to wear primarily black, dye their hair, and cut themselves.

Instead of carrying Oxygen from pulmonary circulation and delivering it to needed tissues throughout the body, emoglobin carries feelings of sorrow, loneliness and angst.

Rachel ended up in the hospital last night because her emoglobin got the best of her and she spilled too much out of her wrists.

by Derik October 29, 2006

OMGOPHERS

It's like omg, but better, because it involves gophers. See omgooses. If you're not the goose-type, try a gopher. Gopher's may be a rodent and or pest, but that gopher was one hell of a character in Caddyshack I.

kid1: "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"

kid2: "OMGOPHERS!"

by Derik October 4, 2005

Fuzzy

Fuzzy is the feeling after a night of drinking the next morning. It can best be described as knowing you're not hung over, but still not feeling quite 100%.

Extra long showers usually help somewhat, but nothing but time will cure your uneasiness.

If you think of a "buzz" as a pre-drunk state, being fuzzy is the post-drunk state. The outlying cause is the alcohol still being worked out of your system long after you've awaken, one molecule at a time.

*in class the next morning*

kid1: "Dude I'm mad fuzzy."

kid2: "Me too."

by Derik October 1, 2005

Chapter Delay

Occurs while taking a shit, when by all necessary definitions you have completed your task, but want remain on the bowl to finish the current chapter of the book/newspaper/novel you are reading. Usually last between 2-5 minutes.

Most common in suspense novels and other mysteries.

Roommate 1- "You almost ready dude, we're gunna be late. First pitch is in 20 minutes."
Roommate 2- "Yeah man hold on, quick pre-game dump."

*10 minutes later*

Roommate 2- "Alright let's go"
Roommate 1- "WTF man, you said quick."
Roommate 2- "Didn't account for the chapter delay. That Dan Brown is amazing."

by Derik September 26, 2005

aish

Mid-to-upper class socioeconomic culture slang. -aish can be inserted into any word ending in -ation, (ie presentation) to quickly convert it into slang. Usually, once it is used, the next response will also contain an -aish word, and so on.

Originated in Chicopee, Massachusetts.

Kid 1- "Hey did you go to the library to work on your presentaish?"
Kid 2- "Nah, just a little study-room masturbaish."
Kid 1-"Nice man. I gotta go to my Biochem recitaish. And wash your hands, btw."

by Derik September 26, 2005

Janitor's Nightmare

Also commonly known as the Infield Fly, the Janitor's Nightmare consists of taking a shit in a urinal. Although complicated, the logistics are somewhat reasonable when rationed with.

It helps to accomplish the J.N. with a lookout, to keep an eye out for other possible rest-roomers as well as said janitor.

kid1: "Hey man, you got 20 minutes? I need a favor."

kid2: "Depends... what?"

kid1: "Janitor's Nightmare, 3rd floor?"

kid2: "Done."

by Derik September 21, 2005

With A Bullet

Another slang term for saying, "number one," as in when you are outlining a list of reasons of some sort.

Popularized by the single, "Sugar, We're Goin' Down," by Fall Out Boy (which is not their best song on the cd).

Don't be surprised if this doesn't catch on.

Without said insertion...

kid1: "So, why are you going home this weekend...?"

kid2: "#1: because I need to see my family..."

*with slang*

kid1: "So, why are you going home this weekend...?"

kid2: "With a bullet, because I need to see my family..."

kid1: "What?"

by Derik September 19, 2005